This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Givvin to charitty

De storry so far. Bosco have been givven permision to commit one murder, knowin dat it is alreddy forgivven by Farver Arfur, a Cathlic preist in good standin. We is still tryin to geuss who de lucky victtim will be.

Meanwhile Anti Moly and me was just about to tuck into Bosco's nuorishing pie what he made from allmonds and what smelt reely strong, when dere was a knokc on de door.
"If dat's a freind of mine, tell em come to come in," said Anti Moly. "If not, chuck a brick at em."
"You ain't got no freinds, Moly Hun," said Bosco. He calls her Hun sometimes, as she was once enggaged to de Herrman Gorring (she says it was her what broke de rellationship off, but I heard rumors dat in fact he did it cos he fought she was too agressive).

It turned out to be Farver Arfur, who said he was collectin for CAFFOD, de charrity what helps starvin poeple. It used to be quite Cathlic, but dat werent verry poppular, so dey doesnt worry about dat too much now. In fact dey keeps sendin rude letters to de Pop saying dat he's got it all wrong. So we quite likes dem.

Here is a pitcher of Farver Arfur and his freinds from CAFFOD.

CAFFOD meeting

"What shuold I give?" I asked Farver Arfur.
"Give what you can, my son," he repplied. I aint reely his son, but he says dat poeple wont beleive he is a preist if he dont say fings like dat.

So I made de grate sacriffice and sent Farver Arfur away carryin Bosco's allmond pie (dem starvin chaps in Affrica is reely gonna enjoy dat). We also gave him a botle of Anti Moly's homemade cacctus gin, what also makes a grate tiolet cleaner. We aint heard any more of him since then.

Which reminds me, in de Calumny Chappel we has put up a statue of St Thommas de Baker. It is made out of a cacctus, so dat poeple like Bosco doesnt kiss it in a fit of abbsent-mindedness. Aint dat cute?

St Thommas

5 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  2. Who is you, Anonnymous? Is you my darlin bruvver Bosco wot is washed in de blood of de Labm like me? I fink I recoggnised de affectionnate style.

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  3. Eccles you is the funniest thing since Damian Thompson said he was Catholic!

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  4. Statement from Rabit, 22nd November 2011. At 11.00 this evening I was banned from the DT blog after posting for the second time a link to a Tommy Cooper video on YouTube. At the same time, the Sedevacantist post which outrageously libeled Cardinal Law had remained in place for two hours. JohnHenry's link to a very bad vestment was also removed at the same time. The moderation on Damian's blog is entirely discredited.

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  5. Dat's very strange, bruvver Rabit. We doesnt have no muddleration on dis blogg, so poeple like Bosco is free to show de world what dere innmost beleifs is like. Perhaps I gotta write a blogg about Tommy Cooper some time.

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