This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday 1 June 2013

Anonymous blogging

Some readers have questioned whether my name is really Eccles, and whether my brother is really called Bosco, or my great-aunt called Moly. Of course all this is perfectly true - why would I want to deceive you? However, I have been accused of cowardice for (allegedly) blogging and tweeting anonymously, especially as some of my posts have been misinterpreted as attacks on the vain, the proud, the self-important and the stupid - which are protected but scarcely endangered species.

Batman and Robin

Two anonymous bloggers discuss hermeneutics.

Still there is a long tradition of strivers for justice, honesty, truth, beauty, world peace, a sound digestion, good weather, ... where was I? Oh yes, a long tradition of doing such things anonymously. Sometimes it is enough to put on a pair of glasses and call yourself Clark Kent to become impenetrably disguised as a journalist. At the Catholic Herald they once tried something similar...

Catholic Herald

Mild-mannered Dr William Oddie, Damian Thompson and Ed West under cover.

What happens if you're not anonymous? Well, if you're a pro-life GP, be very afraid. Farewell to the Hippocratic oath, hello to Abortion. Your first words to a pregnant mother should be "Oh dear, I am so sorry. Shall I arrange a termination?" and not "Congratulations, you must be very pleased!" Be warned - we're coming for you, and your family, and your dog, and your cat, and your hamster, and... anyway, don't you dare fight abortion!

Scarlet Pimpernel

The Scarlet Pimpernel - another blogger with a secret identity.

Or you might be a professor in a politically-correct university (aren't they all?), who dares to oppose the Equality and Diversity party line - perhaps you think that, hey, homosexual sex is a bad thing...? Or that marriage is something to do with a man and a woman? Or that Islam is actually a false religion? Well, if you want to keep your job, or at least to avoid being mobbed by students with too much time on their hands, you'd better not say so!

Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger, with patent ZuhlsdorfTM heretic-smiter.

It was always thus. Saul of Tarsus, originally a big shot in the looking-after-coats-during-stonings business (and general smiting of Christians) was forced to blog under the pseudonym of Paul, especially when putting forward controversial notions about faith, hope, and love, and the greatest of them being love (or charity, if you prefer). He was still harassed by people who thought that the three virtues were diversity, political correctness and being green -- and the greatest of these is being green.

St Paul in prison

St Paul, arrested for not being green.

So be nice to our anonymous bloggers, and remember that some of the greatest people in history traded under a variety of aliases (or sockpuppets). One thinks of Our Lord, who managed to have numerous Oxbridge colleges named after Him, simply by using the aliases Christ, Corpus Christi, Emmanuel, Jesus, Trinity, ... and, if you believe Dan Brown, His wife's name Magdalen(e), too.

Brazen Nose

Brasenose (formerly Brazen Nose), not believed to be one of the names of God.

49 comments:

  1. darling eccles - how can people say such fings - or was they all sock-poppets of the Stockport Stalker? Bosco would send his love if he could find where he'd left it - he's havin' computer problems, but when he sorts them, he's promised me a nice, not anonymous, blost xx Jess

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  2. The promble with not being anonymous is you end up being stalked in your real life by some very warped people, as the Rabit discovered. Some very unsavoury anti-Catholic trolls posted calumnies on the internet with the intention of threatening his professional life. Woeful!

    No, you keep anonymous, Eccles, and anyone who accuses you of cowardice must be a complete deaconhead.

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    1. You are quite right, Mr Rabit - the Stockport Stalker is convinced I am you, or is it that you are me? Still, since he's a confused looney, who care`/ Hope you and the lovely donks are well? xx Jess

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    2. You'll also find yourself being stalked by rabid right wing Catholics too, who post personal details on t'internet.

      They might even use phrases that have resulted in brutal murder while referring to you.

      Signed
      Dick

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    3. Or you might be a Catholic mother of six who had her family name and full address published on Twitter by a left wing Anscombe/Stein sock puppet as you'll recall Deacon Tony.

      Didn't you recently write to her at that address you'd got from your leftie chum, to apologise? What was it you called her again. That's right, a 'skank'. Hmmm.

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    4. I apologised for calling her that, I was not aware of the connotation, and she accepted my apology.

      Thank you for confirming the letter was received, I never knew.

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    5. Further, the address came from nobody on social media

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    6. You referred to the name of her road on Twitter though.

      Glasshouses old fella!

      Eccles wants his luvvly blogg to stay saved so nuff said innit bruv.

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    7. Yes, and apologised. Are you aware of the Catholic ethic of forgiveness I wonder?

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    8. Are you? Did your theology course include an explanation of Matthew 7. 1-6?

      Telling people that they is not as holly or as orthodox as wot you most definitely iz, or tellin dem dat you finks dey will need to do much explaining on de last day, ain't the behaviour of a saved pusson, much less a deacon and school chaplain.

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    10. "But an explanation will be required."

      Deacon Flavin, your comments are increasingly arrogant. Some of us have observed the way you bully commenters - particularly women - and it is clear that you are becoming an embarrassment to the Archdiocese of Southwark.

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    11. Clear to who? And who says its not the diocese who want the explanation ?

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    12. Clear to who? And who says its not the diocese who want the explanation ?

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    13. And it's quite Claer who Maria Most Formosa is. I'm disappointed, I actually expected better.

      I hate being proved wrong, that's a battle I have lost.

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    14. "And it's quite Claer who Maria Most Formosa is."

      It is not "Claer" to some of us! You are barking up the wrong tree. Or to put it another way, you are barking.

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    15. One stop short of Plaistow as they say round these parts, norty rabit.

      We are all looking forward to de Archbish being shown screencaps of Eccles' spirituely nourisshin luvvly blogg.

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    16. The Archbish? Such delusions of grandure. As I have observed.

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    17. ' An explanation will be required. Delusions of grandure. As I have observed'.

      You don't do self awareness do you? Woeful.

      Thank God for good and holy priests and deacons on the internet.

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    18. Not every Catholic is a secularist Marx-reading surrender monkey, Tony, and your time would be spent more profitably listening to the Pope's current series of teachings that the Catholic Church is NOT just another "social-justice" NGO, but that she is instead the mystical body of those devoted to the worship of God --- in the Spirit, not in the political arena of trendy homosexualist & feminist revisionism.

      These things are far from God. They are NOT of the Kingdom.

      We are called to set aside worldly matters, not elevate them to the highest place of worship in our souls.

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  3. I think blogging and tweeting using a pseudonym must be the act of a coward. No other explanation is possible. You'll notice that those who blog and tweet over their own names are always the model of courage, courtesy and charity. QED.

    Pseudonymously,

    Ben

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  4. Being meself vain, proud, self-important and stupid, not to mention a great sinner, i shudder to contemplate your prose should my aka breakdown, my ka already has.Stay as eccles, n have your cake n eat it too.
    Zo Zorry to carp,just fishing, but I'm foxed as to why omit the mark of zorro ? without you've already mixed it wi 't Zuhlzdorf as a Tm politically incorrect explosive device, n he's vixin' t' suet you wi' a plumduff.Or whatever.

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  5. Thanks for that lovely reminder of the old alma mater, great powerhouse of the Newman Soc when I was there. Of course, in my day it didn't have a statue in the middle of Old Quad. I swear it's technically impossible to achieve this view with a camera, but clearly it worked for the artist.

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  6. I am shocked - shocked, I say - that anyone would conclude dat you is knot who you sez you is, Eccles.

    Obviously, your critics are from Caphernaum – a place noted for good-for-nothings who whine: “Who is dis Eccles? Don’t we know his bruvver Bosco and his Grate Anti Moly? Who does he think he is? We must ferret him out…”

    GOR – not a real name. Not from Caphernaum.

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    1. I don't think his critics come from Caphernaum, but from the parts of Thornton Heath around Cyrene - sorry, Croydon. I was there this morning on business, and can solemnly affirm that it looks more like Armageddon with trams.

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  7. I am sure you've seen me ask before Dilly, pop at me (big bold real life and google-able) all you like, but anyone associated with me, and that includes the parish are not fair game.

    Thank you.

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  8. Which prat of Croydon do you live in?

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  9. Keep it friendly, folks. This is a blogg for saved pussons.

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    1. And for helpful kind and truthful ones, I hope!

      There are large numbers of us just ready to be kind, helpful, but not necessarily truthful about our links to Tony, when criticising rude and norty tweeters.

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    1. Haven't you got anything better to do on a Sunday morning than archive Eccles' luvvly comedy blogg? All the propper clergy I know seem to find quite a lot to do.

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  12. Warning, I is going to start muddlerating de blogg if you lot dont behave youselves - and especially if someone complanes.

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  13. Dear Sir,

    I would like to complain.

    Yours,
    Disgusted and pissed of Tunbridge Wells

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    Replies
    1. Aha! Quite right too! Croydon is the thinking man's Watford.

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  14. Speaking as an intergalactic slug gangster, I think that everyone using an internet pseudonym should be rounded up and encased in carbonite.

    How dare these people not publish their real names so that all the anti-Catholic trolls and stalkers can probe into their daily lives, and be given a chance to try and ruin them ?

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  15. O.K. this has gone far enough. I don't know how to turn off comments here without blocking them everywhere, but I am going to delete further insults (and may need to go back and remove some of the earlier ones).

    Eccles.

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  17. They're a bonkers lot in Southwark.

    Meanwhile here in Shrewsbury the weather's glorious at the Dome from Home.

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  18. Isn't screencapping what the IRA used to do to informants?

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  19. By the way, I am me & not an anon blogger...therefore I exist....thank you René.

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  20. I know you are not anon. Eccles as I saw you on the BBC TV in the 1960s & listened to your show on BBC Radio in the 1950s. Pity about Spike.

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  21. Discovery! anon is really Romeo , found the proof in Shakespeare:
    Juliet "I come, Anon" unquote.
    Q.E.D.

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    1. Correction! Tis when Juliet converses with Romeo just before she wishes he be himself but his name be other, but in context it is to her old nurse she says the above , afore she continues, to Romeo , "but if thou meanst not well.../::"
      The old nurse's name I wot not of, Could be Moly?

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  22. The first Anonymous blogger was the author of The Wanderer written in either the 6th of 10th century, a poet who said stability only lies in God not in England. I think he must have been an ancestor of Bruvver, as he uses wyrd words. You might ask Aunt Moly is this is so. However, being Anonymous is really not possible nor is it true. Most people who really want to know, find out, like the NSA or Prism. No problem...

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  23. My word, Eccles! You've been at this match of wits for donkey's (y)ears long. Back from the future to egg you on for however long we must carry on, or at least until 2024. So, do carry on!

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