This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday, 12 November 2014

Probe makes historic landing on Cormac

From our astonomical correspondent.

As reported elsewhere, a robot probe has made an historic landing on the heavenly (?) body Cormac Murphy-O'Connor.

The probe comes in to land on Cormac.

First reports indicate that although considered "eminent", the Cormac is a featureless wasteland unlikely to support much in the way of intelligent life. Sophisticated tests are being conducted for evidence of orthodoxy and spirituality, but scientists are pessimistic about the outcome.

The Cormac has long been a significant object in the constellation Circulus Magicus, and is of such a great age that many observers had expected it to fade away by this time. Nevertheless, it still exerts a mysterious force on other celestial objects, such as Cardinalis Amnesiae or the "Nichols Star"; however, its rogue satellite Kieranus Arundelis et Brighthelmstonis has now broken away, and is alleged to have been seen in the vicinity of Uxor Alii.

Watching Cormac from the Westminster observatory.

The Cormac has occasionally been sighted in Urbs Roma, where it exerts a mysterious gravitational attraction way beyond what is predicted by the normal laws of physics. This influence is considered undesirable, and may even be a cause of some recent chaotic behaviour observed in the great star Pontifex.


  1. Hmmm, so this Cormac is not invincibly ignorant...
    Perhaps I can suggest a theoretical object predicted by physics. The Cormac exhibits behaviour similar to a Singularity, an exceedingly dense object with a gravitational attraction that can suck in light leaving only darkness... how appropriate!

  2. May I ask if the Society of St. Bede has as its moto "Ora et Labora"?
    The one I belonged to, did. Just ask Baz. Loftus.

  3. I didn't know that "Eccles is Saved" had a Gastronomical Correspondent.

  4. I have just seen the begining of the Mass in Leeds Cathedral for the Installation of Colonel Stock by General Nickels of Westminster.
    And Cormac is there!
    Leeds Cathedral...I know it well.

  5. Must have thought it was landing on Tarmac!