This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Thursday, 13 October 2016

How we know we are living in the End Times

From the 3rd Letter of St Paul to the Jesuits.

1. Now, brothers, many of ye have asked me, "How shall we know that the Day of the Lord is nigh?"

2. Ye shall know that ye live in the End Times by means of various signs.

3. For lo! The world shall become very silly, and by this ye shall know that your time is nearly up.

4. First, clowns shall stalk the land, spreading terror to all who see them.

Pope and clowns

Pope Francis receiveth his new cardinals.

5. Then in England, a land flowing with Marmite, shall men complain that this wondrous foodstuff is no more.

6. The great wells of Marmite shall dry up, and the pipeline that bringeth Marmite from the distant East shall run dry.

7. Even the mighty jars of Dawkins, that once ran with milk, honey, and Marmite, shall be empty. And the professors of Oxford shall starve.

Dawkins tweet

And men shall say that Bin Laden hath won.

8. And there shall be other signs of silliness.

9. For a singer of popular ballads shall win a mighty prize for literature.

10. Thus shall he spoken of as the equal of Kipling, Yeats, Mann, Eliot, and Camus.


And Dylan shall ask "How many roads must a man walk down?"

11. Finally, and silliest of all, the sound of the Trump and the sound of the Clinton shall be heard in the land of America.

12. For the people shall be asked to choose between a complete slob and a woman of infinite evil.

Trump and Clinton

No, this is beyond a joke.

13. And at that point the LORD shall say, "Enough! This is too silly!" and the world shall end.


  1. As our new noblist might say:

    'A hard rain's a gonna fall' and 'the night comes falling from the sky', 'when the ship comes in'.

  2. So true. And, as the great cardinal emeritus o wilde once said, there is only one thing worse than having marmite and that is not having marmite.


  3. (foto: ANSA)
    © ANSA
    Redazione ANSA Vatican City
    13 October 201614:35



    Scrivi alla redazione

    (ANSA) - Vatican City, October 13 - Pope Francis told a group of mostly Lutheran pilgrims on Thursday that proselytism was a potential threat to Christian unity. "The last thing you must do is 'to say, to convince'. It's not right to convince someone of your faith," he said.
    "Proselytism is the strongest venom against the path of ecumenism".

  4. Given how much I have appreciated your lucid satires of clerics, low and high, especially since they so meritorious of such due to their exemplary mediocrity and their not being truly that which they purport themselves to be (viz., ordained servants of the true Church established by Jesus the Christ), there is one slight complaint I respectfully would like register.

    As a "Yank" (a Roman Catholic first, but nonetheless one loyal to the 'patria' of my proximate ancestors), and someone who is gravely concerned about the very survival of the republic into which I was born, I sincerely ask that you not base your judgments about D.J. Trump on caricatures and slanderous depictions you likely are receiving through media.

    History has too many examples of less than perfect persons Providence deigned to utilize to bring about good, and those persons rose to the occasion to fulfill the tasks bequeathed to them in history.

    Trump, arguably, may well turn out to be in this category to some degree.

    Minimally, I can confirm that he is not an arrogant, utterly shallow and callous elitist who pretends to be other than he is.

    As for what he will achieve, such is yet obscure to us. But his bearing and character, overall, are being transformed for the better both by circumstances, the promises he has made to the 'populus' to defend the principles of our Constitution, and by the very mantle in the service of the common good that he has assumed.

    Best regards.

    1. I agree with Leon Berton. If Trump loses we will have Hillary The Evil Baby Killer. Donald Trump is our last hope since he will appoint Supreme Court justices like Antonin Scalia and obviously he knows far more about how to jump start the economy. (He also has an IQ of 156.)

    2. Oh don't get me wrong, folks. Anyone who is not a complete sociopath would vote Trump in preference to Clinton. Luckily I don't get to vote.

    3. Oh Leon, you speaketh for me as well! I have observed this race closely, and conclude that even those who would prefer Donald Trump, as Eccles has already shared, cannot resist a verbal insult to the man, the man who frankly, has absolutely no need of this office nor any money or prestige he would get from it. There are many, multiple, indications that Donald Trump is a far finer man and gentleman than has been widely demonstrated, and his numerous acts of generosity and his children are two general proofs. Frankly, I hold out a tiny hope that God will allow us one last opportunity to be rescued from the hell that awaits us if she is elected. I have to think it's possible, because he if he has proven one thing, it's that he is a leader, because who else could stand up to the treatment he's gotten and remain standing. Even at dog and pony debates, it is two or three against one.
      The way he is treated is absolutely brutal, and while I know he's a big boy, it's just wrong and out of proportion to the dated crime he has apologized for. On the other hand, she doubles down on her support for Planned Parenthood, and that gets lost in the easy target of the bulls-eye on him.
      Please God, help us.

  5. These hacks of the Apostle's private e-mails have obviously been orchestrated by Tibetan albino monks.

  6. The world became silly in October 1962 and I have been laughing since. Sides are beginning to ache now.
    The Marmite has all gone by drone to Hilary, I'm told.

  7. LOL! Another sign of these times of end; South Park is just about the most sensible show on tv currently.