The Sermon in the Plane.
2. Blessed are they who look to the right and to the left before crossing the road: for the years of their life shall be lengthened.
3. Blessed are they who recycle their bottles, and do not simply throw them out of the window at passers-by, as do the heathen.
4. Blessed are they who clean their teeth after meals, for their mouths shall shine forth with the Light of the Lord.
5. Blessed are they who turn off their heating, and dwell in the houses that are frozen; and blessed are they who walk or cycle to their labours rather than taking the chariots of fire: for they shall be called the children of the Earth, and feel very smug about the whole thing.
6. Blessed are they who wear organic, low-fat, locally sourced, hand-knitted, gluten-free, Fairtrade, free-range socks: for their feet shall bring joy to the world.
Blessed feet in holy socks!
7. Blessed are they who stand in an aeroplane, and speak words from their hearts, even if these words do not come from the head: for someone will be on hand to correct, explain, and interpret their utterances.
8. Trust me, I know all about this.