This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday 25 July 2017

The Book of St Richard, Chapter 25

Continued from Chapter 24.

1. And Richard continued to age, yet still he failed to grow in wisdom and kindness.

2. Thus it came to pass that his wife Lalla agreed an "entirely amicable" separation with him, for she was finally exasperated by the selfishness of his genes.

3. And no man can say whether she threw plates at him.

Dawkins family

Richard, Lalla and K9 (Mark 10) in happier times.

4. So Richard sought solace in good deeds, such as moaning about Brexit, moaning about the Trump that is called Donald, and of course moaning about religion.

5. For he continued to smite the Christians with a series of hard-hitting books, films, television programmes, interviews, tweets, exotic dances, oil paintings, sculptures, cartoons, operas, plays, novels, talking parrots, rude vegetables, and graffiti.

6. All of which bore the powerful message "I AM RIGHT AND YOU ARE WRONG."

7. Thus Richard crushed the Christians with all the resources at hand, except of course for theology, philosophy and reading comprehension; for in his life as a Renaissance Man he had never had the chance to study any of these.

angel facepalm

An angel heareth the words of Dawkins.

8. And Richard continued to be praised by those who hated God, and even in his seventy-seventh year he continued to travel.

9. He even defeated Katie Hopkins, Austen Ivereigh, and Damian Thompson, in a contest to find the politest person in Britain.

10. So it came to pass that Richard was invited to Berke-ley in the land of Cali-fornia, that he might speak on his book, "Another old potboiler", subtitled "Richard Dawkins - the years of martyrdom".

11. For the land of Cali-fornia abounded in atheists, liberals, sceptics, lunatics, freaks, weirdos, and hippies, and was thus only too pleased to welcome Richard to its shores.


"Yeah, man, Richard is a cool dude, don't you know?"

12. But it was not to be. For when crushing the Christians, Richard had not hesitated in mangling the Muslims as well.

13. And if there was one sin for the children of Cali-fornia, it was intolerance: except, curiously, intolerance of Christianity, which was often encouraged.

14. And indeed the mangling of Muslims is the worst crime of all (except, possibly, telling the transgendered to "get real").

15. So Richard was left to mourn in Oxford; and he wailed profusely and gnashed those few teeth that remained unto him.

Continued in Chapter 26.


  1. And Richard having come to the River that separates death and life turned to his followers and said " i shall drown and be turned to nothing"
    They looking said " Canst thou see on yonder shore a wicker gate/" "Nay i deny its existence""Canst thou see a shining one " "Nay it does not exist,all i see is water and my words -there is no God or Eternity" Then he striking out through the water felt the ground beneath him and on reaching the other side uttered the words" O God " to which a Voice responded "Yes but i see you are wet through,I shall send thee to get dry ....... St Michael take him over to the Lift shaft and press floor UG ,where he shall dry amidst wailing and gnashing of Marxist and liberal philosophers,Austin inverleighs and Grahams Kendricks until the time of the end".

  2. Dickie would never use exotic dances, talking parrots or rude shaped vegetables, they're not nearly miserable or boring enough. Still though, at least he's become a bit more consistent in recent years with with religion bashing which is more than can be said for the lefties who've banned him. By all means go to town on Christianity as far as they're concerned, but one word against Islam and you've had it.

  3. Richard Dawkins must be the bane of the existence of atheist philosophers. Every autumn, another batch of freshers arrives, having all read The God Delusion. Three years cannot be anywhere near long enough to train them out of that. In which case, will there even be any atheist philosophers, as such, in two generations' time?

  4. Dear Eccles;
    Please be kind and put me out of my misery - where's Chapter 1? Please, please, please, don't say 'at the beginning'!

    1. It was written a long time ago, but the story starts at