Probably the first nude man to appear on this blog.
It's a very exciting creche this year, and manages to eliminate Mary, Joseph and Jesus almost entirely, giving preference to Works of Mercy. Some Works of Mercy are more natural than others: take Burying the Dead for example. (The part of the tableau that portrays Burying the Dead looks something like a scene from Dracula...) If my Great-auntie Moly expires behind the sofa after an overdose of gin, should I leave her there for a few years, or get her buried? (Actually, putting a match to her in the garden would be simplest, what with all that gin inside her...) It's true that explaining in Confession that I still haven't buried my great-aunt could be fairly awkward. But I digress.
At the Vatican Press Office, they keep their clothes on, no matter what Amoris Laetitia says.
Although I thought initially that the nude man was Fr James Martin SJ, and that he was in the nativity scene to publicize his latest theological idea - that Jesus was simply a disciple of John the Baptist - I may be wrong, since he (whoever he is) is apparently there to symbolize Clothing the Naked.
A rejected design for the Vatican Nativity scene.
In the Eccles household, we don't include scenes of explicit nudity, but we go for a traditional, rigid, interpretation of the scene. The only oddity is that we have one extra king, who is the wrong size, but he was given to us by a priest, so that shouldn't be a problem.
We really don't have the heart to sack him.
Let's finish with a couple of Anglican nativity scenes from a collection assembled by Fergus Butler-Gallie.
Sheffield - the tin man from the Wizard of Oz, and his oddly-shaped tinned baby.
St Alban's - hand-knitted Teletubbies.
Correction: even on a blog intended for family reading, there have been scenes of nude men before. See this piece about the Atheists' Nude Calendar and Richard Dawkins's reluctance to participate...
Did you really mean, "to publish his latest theological idea" or should that have been "publicize"?
ReplyDelete(Save the Liturgy, Save the World)
Thanks, now fixed. I only write this stuff, I don't read it.
DeleteYours is one of the few blogs I read...other than my own of course.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I am honoured.
DeleteThe nude man is clearly shown blocking the way of the magi as they approach Bethlehem. Surely a sensitive depiction of the kind of problem encountered by many a Catholic impeded on their way to Midnight Mass by the drunken antics of pagan revellers at this time of year.
ReplyDeleteActually the bald headed gay king made it past the naked man. Not sure what happened to his crown/hat. Also please note that the naked gay man is lying on a bed of straw as if homosexuality is represented "lying in the manger".
DeleteIt is only sexually suggestive because your eyes tend to be sinful.
ReplyDeleteElse, it is pretty easy to interpret:
- "O look Caspar, it's your patient again. Here, boy, cover up. Got kicked out the strip club again huh? Told you, Caspar, your cure against the floppy birdie DOES NOT WORK"
- "It works, Melchior, it works. Where do you think all my gold comes from? hee hee! This guy gets kicked out just because he is a terrible dancer.".
As for these pauperist nativity scenes which unfortunately are the norm: I urge you to consider where the tradition comes from, i.e. from Saint Francis of Assisi. He did get inspired by the Bible but filtered it through his life experiences which included ugly wars which he hated. For us average westerners, which look at wars through TV, reconsidering the tradition in light of the Old Testament is a worthy experiment.
"Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, Glory to God in the highest heaven..."
We are not talking just a bunch of sheep here, this is a friggin' God's Army company coming down to salute the arrival of their Commander (a mere good man prophet, eh, muslims? think again, pals!).
So, try instead to imagine the scene with infantry angels, horsemen, machine guns, tanks, the air force, the navy, the cyberwar trolls, the angelic strike drones, the nuclear H bombs (whatever you think the Bethlehem star was? A star IS a fusion reactor, and detonating an actual H bomb was deemed counterproductive).
And that bunch of shepherds in the middle of it, going "WTF Joseph?". And Joseph looking away and replying "I know, I know, strange things happening, lately."
Merry Christmas!
Of all the eye pokes we have had to endure with this pontificate, this one caps them all, although admittedly tearing apart 2000 years of Catholic teaching is nothing to sneer at! But this ugly, bizarre, homoerotic, and just weird nativity, is a new low point.
ReplyDeleteI have just read that imbecilic Catholics in Wisconsin, are killing each other in their race to be the MOST enthusiastic parishioners, thanks to their brand, spanking new gay and out like trout priest! He received a standing ovation no less! One Catholic gushed, "I love him for who he is", others opining that they had left the church, but if men like this were around, maybe their "spiritual journey would have been different".
So all things considered, I think we have the Vatican nativity we deserve.
May God have mercy on us, the tiny remnant of the faith, which labors in a world gone insane.
We've had an creche that has been on the family for years uncounted and untold. Sadly, we have one misfit like your glandular king. A one legged camel. We're not really sure how the poor fellow lost his legs but we do know that the holy land has been dangerous for literally thousands of years so anything could have caused the lose of his/her legs. We prop him/her in the back each year. We'd never think of replacing one legged camel. Too much a part of the family you know.
ReplyDeleteRemember, a one-legged camel is for life, not just for Christmas.
DeleteEven a legless camel is acceptable. I once saw a giraffe in a church Crib and I didn't even know they had giraffes in the Holy Land.
DeleteYore second to last pickchewer : St Joseph the welder Like!
ReplyDeleteAnd welding three old baked means togetherlegthise then burnishing them , for swaddling, such an imaginitive way to contribute equally to childrearing. Signed Transitorily whoobles Mcwittering.
My family debates whether a pig sould be allowed among the animals in the crib.
ReplyDeleteI sense that I should vote yes to some of the above comments, but I can't make sense of most. So please, commenters, choose your validation as you see fit. In the spirit of the season. Etc.
ReplyDeleteNude man doesn't want the cover - he's trying to get it off of him. (It's a little warning about looming global warming.) Looks like he's desperately in need of a fix.
ReplyDeleteWhere are the rainbow flags? At first I thought that this nativity scene was one of Eccle's spoof homoerotic clever creations snd laughed...Never occurred to me for a moment that this is the official Vatican nativity scene for 2017.Grotesque very very weird and non Catholic !
ReplyDeleteIt’s a rather literal depiction of the Third Corporal Work of Mercy, isn’t it? I’d always assumed that the kind of thing involved was draping an extra cloak decorously over a poor shivering old geezer’s shoulders or something. It hadn’t occurred to me that in order to qualify as a pukka Work of MercyTM, the recipient literally had to be completely starkers, sprawling helplessly on his back like a stranded tortoise, and imploring me: “Got any clothes, mate? Anything, please! Underpants. Vest. Thong? Willy-warmer? Help a male model fallen on hard times, sir. The bishop chucked me out on the street”.
ReplyDeleteLook closely - do the 3 angels (2 at Mary's feet, one to the right of the crib) have CLEAVAGE?!! They also look terrified. Terrified angels with cleavage. Wonder what the theological meaning of that would be?
ReplyDeleteI think a speech bubble has been omitted here. He should be saying, 'Excuse me mate but I have spent all my money on gym membership, steroids and expensive shaving products and have nothing left in the budget for clothing, could you ask that nice Cdl. Maradiaga if he could spare a few thousand euro?'
ReplyDelete