This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 15 July 2018

"Jesus has no credibility" says Cardinal Farrell

"Jesus is not the best person to advise people on marriage," explained Cardinal Kevin Farrell, Prefect of the Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life. "He has no credibility, He never lived the experience; He may be the Son of God, but to go from there to putting His Power into practice every day - He doesn't have that experience."

Some will find Cardinal Farrell's words controversial, although it is unlikely that Pope Francis will take any notice of them, let alone correct them. Cardinal Farrell (70) was appointed by Francis, along with Cardinal Tobin (66) and Cardinal Cupich (69), as one of a team of "Bright Young Cardinals" whose job was to drag the Catholic Church into the 1960s.

Tobin, Farrell, Cupich

The Three Musketeers (or do we mean Stooges?)

Jesus's views on marriage - broadly speaking, that it is an institution that involves one man and one woman for life - have already been much criticised, especially by fans of Amoris Laetitia, but Kevin Farrell is the first person to come out and explain how He could have got things so badly wrong.

"It is better if people being prepared for marriage ignore all that pre-Vatican II Biblical stuff," he continued, "and it is therefore more appropriate if they are prepared by someone who has been married before - perhaps several times - and preferably both to people of the same sex and the opposite sex. That way they can benefit from a full range of experiences."

Henry VIII

"Now take Henry VIII. The Anglicans have benefited from his wide experience of marriage!"

Cardinal Farrell went on to criticise the Ten Commandments, explaining that God had been "rather new at that game" when He drafted them, and had not committed any sins. "It would have been better if He had left things to Satan, who, after all, had much more personal experience of evil."

Many Catholic priests have been disturbed (not to say furious) at Kev the Rev's comments, asking themselves exactly what experience of marriage the good cardinal has himself had, to be able to speak out so authoritatively. As a result, they have constructed a giant balloon (blimp) in the form of Farrell, which is now flying above Rome, this being the "modern" way to express political disagreement.

Farrell blimp

The Farrell blimp watches over St Peter's Square.


  1. brilliant, eccles. altho that feral/farrell blimp is a sure-fire nightmare.

  2. He has no credibility as a Catholic,to attribute ignorance to Wisdom Incarnate.Next he will be saying Jesus knew little about the Universe because he didn't become an astronaut.

  3. "God became man that man might become God(Share in God's divinity)" Saint Athanasius
    "The floor of hell is paved with the skulls of bishops." Saint Athanasius
    "The road to hell is paved with the skulls of erring priests, with bishops as their signposts." Saint John Chrysostom

  4. When did Cardinal Farrell start thinking God is not omniscient?

  5. Maybe Corbyn,Trump, Greening could offer some advice? Diane Abbott could be portrayed by a wonderful balloon.

  6. Now, to be fair, I be;lieve that the "cardinal", with the same sense as a Blue-Jay, twittered that it is priests (not specifically Jesus) who lack the experience to counsel on marriage.
    Given that reasoning this obvious bird-brain who has never been anybody else lacks the experience to counsel anybody else.
    Great mini-essay, this.

  7. Diabolical INSANITY......right there!!

  8. I think your Twitter has been hacked...

  9. amazing resemblance btwn the two blimps, henry VIII & card. farrell, sans the beard & robes.