Coo-ee everyone!!?? It was a great privilege to be a guest of honour at the Democratic Convention, especially since we of the Nuns for Herod are the least conventional sisters you'll ever meet!!??
No rude comments about my habits, please!!??
Ever since the days of President Barack Aborter, we in the Nuns for Herod have been keen Democrats!!?? It's all part and parcel of being one of the "Fat Nuns in the Limousine"!!?? I was delighted when Joe Biden came up to me, stroked my hair, and said, "What's it like being a naughty nun, sister??!!" I replied, "Well, it's not to be sniffed at"!!?? Oddly, he replied, "That's a shame," and moved away!!??
Now, many of you have asked me, "Do you really support abortion??!!" Well, that's above my pay grade!!?? If you want nuns to make moral judgements, you must pay them more!!?? 30 pieces of silver will buy you a moral judgement, dearie!!?? And we're not dogmatic - you can have any answer you like!!??
Of course Abortercare is not universally popular with nuns!!?? Think of the Little Sisters of the Poor, who don't think nuns should send out baby-killing drugs!!?? Well, you can see that they're losers, can't you!!?? Otherwise they'd be the Big Sisters of the Rich, and get lots of juicy grants from rich companies!!??
The Big Sisters of the Rich (not losers!!??)
But enough of that!!?? Sister Kamala* is organizing an auction today!!?? Who wants to buy a nun's conscience, totally unused??!! Send your bids in!!??
*Originally Mary, but that wouldn't do!!??