This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 23 August 2020

Pay nuns more so that they can make moral judgements!!??

Today, a guest post from Sister Judy Piranha, of the Nuns for Herod, who led prayers at the Democrat National Convention.

Coo-ee everyone!!?? It was a great privilege to be a guest of honour at the Democratic Convention, especially since we of the Nuns for Herod are the least conventional sisters you'll ever meet!!??

Sr Simone Campbell

No rude comments about my habits, please!!??

Ever since the days of President Barack Aborter, we in the Nuns for Herod have been keen Democrats!!?? It's all part and parcel of being one of the "Fat Nuns in the Limousine"!!?? I was delighted when Joe Biden came up to me, stroked my hair, and said, "What's it like being a naughty nun, sister??!!" I replied, "Well, it's not to be sniffed at"!!?? Oddly, he replied, "That's a shame," and moved away!!??

Now, many of you have asked me, "Do you really support abortion??!!" Well, that's above my pay grade!!?? If you want nuns to make moral judgements, you must pay them more!!?? 30 pieces of silver will buy you a moral judgement, dearie!!?? And we're not dogmatic - you can have any answer you like!!??

Of course Abortercare is not universally popular with nuns!!?? Think of the Little Sisters of the Poor, who don't think nuns should send out baby-killing drugs!!?? Well, you can see that they're losers, can't you!!?? Otherwise they'd be the Big Sisters of the Rich, and get lots of juicy grants from rich companies!!??

actresses

The Big Sisters of the Rich (not losers!!??)

But enough of that!!?? Sister Kamala* is organizing an auction today!!?? Who wants to buy a nun's conscience, totally unused??!! Send your bids in!!??

*Originally Mary, but that wouldn't do!!??

5 comments:

  1. It is a bold Christian man who would weigh the relative morals of this extreme campaign's party leaders in the scales and suggest an obvious conclusion! The number of former Republicans including former pro-life campaign strategists joining the Lincoln Project is remarkable. But I do have four donkeys so maybe it's a forgivable error to side with the poor and the oppressed?

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  2. I hope sister Judy mentioned her dire financial straits in her prayers at the convention! I think there were a few rich people listening and they might send her a little donation! At least, the Catholics watching will have immediately increased their contributions. She seems to work hard for something or other...

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  3. Sister Kamala, Sister Judy Piranha... any relation to Sister Anna Conder...?

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  4. Dear Sir Bruvver of Eccles:

    Our mutual friend, Jimbo Martin SJLGBT, has forwarded your parody of my political prayer.
    Yes, your blasphemous blog reaches the highest levels of an ever-vigilant Vatican.

    Being Biden means being pro-life. We keep Biden in a basement, refraining from placing him in a NYC Covid Care Home. I rest my pro-life case.

    Scoff away at my paltry pay-grade fee of 30 pieces of silver for ginning up support for Boy Biden. The USCCB has my back & paycheck. Can you say the same?

    Francis believes, as do I, there is far too much focus on abortion. There are other issues which we may profitably pursue for government grants.

    All my habits are the culmination of collegial collusion with the Congregation for Debating Faith (CDF) who are currently creating DNC Debate-denying Dubia.

    As Cupich says in Chicago: Vote early & often.
    Mail-in your overseas vote to me. There may be something in it for you...

    From the fish tank,

    Sister Judy Piranha, Big Sister (B.S.)

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  5. The Big sisters of the Rich! Who wants to buy a nun's conscience, totally unused! Bruvver, you never fail to crack me up. 🤣🤣🤣🙏✝️

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