The Book of Covidicus, Chapter 9: the closing of the temples

Continued from Chapter 8.

1. It came to pass that the children of Bri-tain fell sick once more.

2. Indeed, the models of Neil, son of Fergus, had told him that every man, woman, child, cat, dog, and parrot would die in agony, some of them more than once, unless Bo-sis and his servant Matthew, of the tribe of Hanoch, locked them up and threw away the key.

The mystic runes of Neil foretell doom (maybe).

3. Then Bo-sis went up a high mountain and began to preach.

4. Blessed are the pure in hands: for they shall fear no plague.

5. Blessed are those who cover their faces: for they may buy food.

6. Blessed are those who give space to their neighbours: for all men shall know of their virtue.

7. Blessed are those who pray in secret, and do not worship in the temples of the Lord: for they shall not be hit on the head by my soldiers.

Bo-sis speaketh to the multitudes.

8. But the people cried out with a loud voice, saying "Why doth Bo-sis forbid us to worship in the temples of the Lord? Can he give us one reason why the plague killeth the just man, but not the sinful man in the House of the Common People?"

9. Lo, and even the High Priests spake out, led by him who was called Vincent Nicodemus, High Priest of the Minster of the West. Likewise, many members of the House of the Common People also asked Bo-sis to explain.

10. And Boris cried "Ha ha!" amoung the strumpets.

11. But he did not answer their questions.

Bo-sis speaketh comfortable words to the people.

12. And there were amongst the children of Bri-tain some very woeful people who wished to go to the far-off land of Dig-ni-tas, that is to say, the valley of the shadow of Death.

13. So Bo-sis blessed them saying, "Ye may go forth and die, but ye may not walk in the streets. For if ye do, ye shall surely die. Er, that is to say, er, cripes!"

14. Finally, Bo-sis told the people, "Many of ye may not work, but fear not, we shall pay you to idle, using the mighty treasures of Fur-lough, the magic tree of money."

15. So those who could not work rejoiced, saying "We must live in misery and poverty, but at least it is permanent."

Continued in Chapter 10.