This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 2 November 2020

Battle of Armageddon expected to be close

Tuesday's battle in the United States of Armageddia is expected to be a close-run thing. St John's predictions in the book of Revelation will no doubt be broadly accurate, although he got some of his information from the National Catholic Reporter, America, and the Tablet, so it cannot all be relied upon.


The Apocalypse (or possibly a Black Lives Matter demonstration).

In particular, the Last Trump - the 7th trumpet of Revelation 11:15 - is not to be interpreted literally as a musical instrument, more as a large orange man with a powerful voice. He is backed by St Michael of the Pence (Rev. 12:7).

St Michael

St Michael discusses politics with "Cardinal" Wilton Gregory.

Pitted against the Trump are the false gods Bi-elzebub and Ka-moloch, slayer of babies. These are backed by a great red dragon (Rev. 12:3), which in some translations is called Pachamama. I am not sure who this refers to, but if you see any friends of Pachamama attacking the Trump, then do let us know.


Ka-moloch, by @eoros1012.

The Trump has vowed to Make Heaven Great Again - a bit over the top here, as many people would say it is great already - while Bi-elzebub's teachings are confused (the last message we heard was "Trunalimunumaprzure", a mantra which, if repeated enough times, is said to reduce one's enemies to gibbering wrecks).

Anyway, the ground's in tip-top condition, and we can look forward to a first-rate Apocalypse tomorrow.


  1. Joe Biden : "C'mon man ! I'm the guy planning to use trunalimunumaprzure to, to, you know the thing !"

  2. The Great Reset

    Mr. Peabody: Peabody here, with my boy Sherman.

    Sherman: Are we going time traveling in the Way-Back Machine?

    Mr. Peabody: Yes, Sherman, we shall attempt to thwart the machinations of Fearless Leader Herr Klaus Schwab-Schmear.

    Sherman: I remember when the Way-Back Machine took us to China to try to stop Mao’s Great Leap Forward Cultural Revolution. Communism caused millions to die!

    Mr. Peabody: We cannot rewrite history, only warn those ignorant of history, lest they repeat it. Sherman, set the Way-Back Machine a short hop back to June 3, 2020 in Davos, Switzerland.
    Instantly transported back for a meeting of the World Economic Force (WEF), they find Herr Klaus at the podium, promising the Great Reset will deliver a Socialist Utopia.

    Herr Klaus: This red button will soon reset the New Normal of Tutti Frutti Unity. All together now: “Imagine there’s no heaven, it’s easy if you try, no hell below us, above us empty sky...”

    Sherman: Golly, Mr. Peabody, he sounds just like Pope Francis.

    Mr. Peabody: I’m afraid so. The Vatican has been temporarily hijacked.

    Sherman: Look at this wild WEF program. They will own everything!

    Mr. Peabody: Yes, Sherman, including you. Hmm... I have a plan. I’ll entice Herr Klaus into our Wayback Machine. This Wiener Schnitzel ought to do the trick.
    Ready, Sherman? Now set the Way-Back Machine for China in the year 1958. Herr Klaus, you’re going back for a stay in Mao’s Great Leap Forward into slavery and death.
    And, Herr Schwab-Schmear, please don’t say, “Nothing to see here!”

    Later, transported back home to their comfortable quarters, Sherman sighed: I wish we could go Way-Back to live in the Middle Ages of Faith. Say, 1345 when Notre Dame Cathedral was built?

    Mr. Peabody: Sadly, the world forgets that an earthly Utopia without God invariably ends in a dystopian nightmare. Pray, my boy, as we await the return of the King, Christ the Lord of history.

    Sherman: I wish it need not have happened in my time.

    Mr. Peabody: As one wiser than a beagle reminds us, “So do I and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”

  3. The new Four Horsemen are Deceit, Deprave, Despotism, and Death.