This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday 11 January 2022

Doing the Synod Walk

Following a document circulated by the USCCB explaining the "attitudes" required for "walking the synodal path", we felt it helpful to write a chorus you can sing as you do the Synod Walk. For those who don't know the music, there is this. It's at least as good as Marty Haugen's stuff!

Synodal attitudes

USCC-B-attitudes to replace to old Beatitudes.

Anytime you're Synod way
Any evening, any day,1
You'll find us all
Doin' the Synod walk.

1. In fact, all day long for several years.

Ev'ry little Synod gal
With her little Synod pal,2
You'll find 'em all
Doin' the Synod walk.

2. Of course LGBT couples are also welcome.

Ev'rything's free3 and easy,
Do as you darn well pleasey,4
Why don't you make your way there,
Go there, stay there.

3. For financial advice, please consult Cardinal Becciu.
4. Offer does not apply to traditional forms of worship.

Once you get down Synod way,
Ev'ry evening, ev'ry day,
You'll find yourself
Doin' the Synod walk.

Anytime you're Synod way
Any evening, any day,
You'll find us all
Doin' the Synod walk.

Ev'ry little Synod gal
With her little Synod pal,
You'll find 'em all
Doin' the Synod walk!

Crackpot sign

"We're on the right road, brothers!

But let's be serious now.

Innovative outlook! Inclusivity! Open-mindedness! Listening! Accompaniment! Co-responsibility! Dialogue!

These form the new mission statement for USCCB Inc., the company that cares about YOU. Our USCCB values also include the following:

Thinking outside the box! Picking the low-hanging fruit! Getting our ducks in a row! Synergizing! Blue sky thinking! Drinking the Kool-Aid! Making sure we have the bandwidth! Going ahead to address the elephant in the room!

Sorry, guys, but Faith! Hope! Charity! Fortitude! Justice! Temperance! and Prudence! are SO pre-Francis!


LATE NEWS: after inviting comments on Twitter, and receiving a deluge of mocking, hostile responses, the USCCB closed off replies. This is how synods work.

5 comments:

  1. Synod. Here's the plan:
    1) leave the laity without any meaningful catechism for a while (50 years should do it.
    2) let them re-invent the religion from scratch.
    Problem with that?
    It was all decided well before the conclave.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Doin' the sin - odd walk, more likely...

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  3. For some reason, I remember that tune...perfect for the Syhod Walk, with the gravitas appropriate to the content. Fun! Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Brilliant! Better than their overpaid managerial types, even.

    ReplyDelete