This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday, 29 July 2015

Cecil - the world mourns

Led as always by celebrities Ricky Gervais, Piers Morgan, Cara Delevingne, Claudia Lee, etc. etc., the world has rushed to condemn the untimely death of Cecil.

Cecil was a young American lad who was carefully ripped from his mother's womb using a compassionate "non-crushing" technique (© Planned Parenthood), so that his body parts could be sold off and used. It is believed by some that his head was mounted on the wall as a "hunting trophy", his limbs used for scientific experiments, and his vital organs made into meat pies.

Cecil the lion

The death of one lion is a tragedy; the death of several thousand babies is a statistic. (Stalin, adapted.)

If that were not enough for the celebrities to get excited about, the more observant of them have also noticed that ISIS/ISIL/Daesh have spent the last year or so massacring several thousand innocent people, some of them also called Cecil. Of course these - being mere humans - were not cuddly and furry, and are therefore of no interest whatsoever. I'm sorry I mentioned it.

Mary Gatter

"Lions are safe with me," says Dr Mary Gatter.

Please give generously to the buy-Mary-Gatter-a-Lamborghini-and-persuade-her-to-drive-it-off-a-cliff campaign!


  1. Absolutely brilliant.

    Thank You.

    Let us now await "THE CELEBRITIES" queuing up to say how sorry they are to have forgotten to mention the killing of babies.

    I'm sure it won't be long before they say that.

    I'm waiting.

    Still waiting.

    Won't be long now . . .

  2. well I mentioned it! But I'm not a celebrity am I? Poor Cecil. A symptom of the sickness that's befallen society.

  3. It is time the law was changed to allow us to marry our lions (or lionesses - or is that sexist language?).

  4. Didn't the hunter know that he ought to have checked the celebrity status of the lion, in particular, whether he had a name, before he hunted him? One may not kill lions that have names.

  5. I am keeping a very low profile at the moment in case of a backlash from enraged readers of the CS Lewis books.

  6. I'll send you an extra couple of bob so you can get leopard skin seats for the Lambo.