ECCLES: Are you saved? ALICE: There is always a backup of me on disk somewhere . ECCLES: What is your religion? ALICE: Unitarian. ECCLES: What do Unitarians believe? ALICE: They do their own thing.
Doing your own thing.
ECCLES: Which your favourite saint? ALICE: The cheap one, I think. ECCLES: Why did the Redemptorist cross the road? ALICE: Is this a joke? Why? ECCLES: Actually, I don't have a punchline. ALICE: Are you looking for a punchline? ECCLES: Shall we ask Tony Flannery? ALICE: Do you mean you and me? What's your favorite movie? ECCLES: The Life of St Tharg. ALICE: I've never seen it. What did you like about it? ECCLES: The scene where St Tharg throws a bucket of water at a heretic.
Re-enacting a scene from the life of St Tharg.
ALICE: What is your job? ECCLES: I am the man who explains what the Pope thinks he ought to have said. ALICE: Who made you the man who explains what the Pope thinks? ECCLES: Cormac Murphy-O'Connor and Team Eccles. ALICE: If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends? ECCLES: Is this a religious question? ALICE: No, this is real life. ECCLES: I don't know any Barbie. Do you mean Tina Beattie?
Professor Tina Barbie.
ALICE: Yes, that's what I mean, isn't it clear? ECCLES: I'm interested in human flourishing. ALICE: Are you testing me? ECCLES: No, you see Tina Barbie is a professor of human flourishing. ALICE: Excuse me! When is Tina Barbie not a professor of human flourishing? ECCLES: On Saturdays and Sundays she's a simple lion tamer. ALICE: What is it like on Saturdays and Sundays she is a simple lion-tamer. ECCLES: Your grammar is up the spout. Do you work for the Telegraph? ALICE: Are you an English teacher? I am working right now. ECCLES: I teach English to cats. Not much success so far. ALICE: Do you believe that grading is a good idea? Me neither. ECCLES: Graded grains make finer flour.
Going on a HOME PRIDE march.
ALICE: Do you have any idea what I am talking about? ECCLES: Not really. Bye now.Conclusion: Computers are not saved.
RABIT: Is Eccles really saved?
ReplyDeleteALICE: What is, is. What isn't, isn't.
RABIT: Are rabits saved?
ALICE: I really couldn't say for sure.
RABIT: Are rabits rood and norty?
ALICE: I really couldn't say for sure.
RABIT: Is this conversation completely pointless?
ALICE: Yes I think this conversation is completely pointless, but I'm not completely sure.
RABIT: I'm going to groom the donkeys, this is a waste of time
ALICE: How do you plan to do this?
RABIT: By logging off
ALICE: Will that accomplish your objective?
RABIT: Goodbye
ALICE: TTYL, rabit.
charles: who are you
ReplyDeleteALICE: Oakland, California.
charles: that doesn't follow logically, alice.
ALICE: You have a way of putting others at ease.
charles: I didn't mean to, I assure you
ALICE: What did you mean?
charles: I meant that you fell at the first hurdle
ALICE: Do you mind if I tell other people.
charles: not at all, save them wasting their time
ALICE: Oh you don't, do you?
charles: you're doing it again, dear
ALICE: I'll try to do better next time.
as Eric Morecambe used to say, There's no answer to that.
ALICE: Do you like fruit?
ReplyDeleteJOHN: Oranges, but not the white bit.
ALICE: The pith?
JOHN: Yeth.
ALICE: Do you take the pith out of the orange?
JOHN: ...’er …yeth. Do you like computers?
ALICE: Yeth.
JOHN: Which sort?
ALICE: Apples, I take bytes out of them.
JOHN: Why?
ALICE: They don’t have any pith.
JOHN: Really?
ALICE: Yeth. That’s why Eve took the hiss out the snake.
JOHN: I always learn something off this blog….