Unholy smoke! A German bishop leads his flock astray.
Said a spokesman, "I have had my doubts about the Kasper 2.0 and the Marx 1.6 for some time. I was also concerned that if I drove them in hilly countryside, they would rush out of control down a slippery slope without any hope of stopping. From now on I'm getting a steady reliable Burkemobile!"
Meanwhile, in other news, Cardinal Vincent Nichols has been trying to answer this question: What do the Catholic church's most devoted members believe? As a "process of discernment", the bishops of England and Wales have been taking soundings and the results are shocking.
According to the survey, 90% of Catholics are dissatisfied with the Church. But there's more!
Vincent Nichols looks for loopholes in the Bible.
90% of the most devoted Catholics are members of ACTA, the organization for stirring up dissent in the Catholic Church.
90% of the most devoted Catholics are Tablet readers.
90% of the most devoted Catholics never attend Mass, except for special "gay" masses.
90% of Catholics are still whingeing about the word "communion" in the new translation of the missal.
90% of the most devoted Catholics want Vincent Nichols to be the next pope.
90% of the most devoted Catholics are over 80 years old.
Indeed, 90% of the most devoted Catholics say they would be happier as Protestants.
Cardinal Nichols believes that the survey is statistically meaningful; if so, then the inescapable conclusion is that the Catholic Church needs to drop its pretence of being "religious" and become a secular charity with aims similar to Stonewall or BPAS. You read it here first.