This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Friday, 11 December 2015

Giles Fraser agrees to accept a refugee

Canon Giles Fraser, vicar of St Mary's, Newington, Guardian columnist, Thought for the Day star, Moral Maze pundit, and all-round liberal, has finally been persuaded to accept a refugee into his home.

St Mary's, Newington

Giles Fraser walking in St Mary's churchyard

The refugee in question, Don Al-Trump, is a man who feels persecuted in his own country because of his beliefs (specifically, that banning Muslims is the answer to all problems); nevertheless, it was thought that he would not be able to find refuge in the UK. Father Giles, however, is living up to his Christian principles, and has promised to welcome the stranger ("and they don't come much stranger than Donald!" he quips).

Donald Trump

Will Don's wig also be allowed asylum?

"I'm not one of those hate preachers you come across, who want to ban people from the country because of their beliefs," explains Canon Fraser. "Admittedly, I'd prefer someone who was more gay-friendly and less driven by his religious faith, but you can't have everything."

It is expected that Don Al-Trump will lead a fulfilling life in London until he manages to settle down and find a job. At "Loose Canon Towers", he will have access to several million old copies of the Guardian together with Thought for the Day recordings going back to the 1960s, so a spiritually nourishing lifestyle awaits him. It is expected that tonight Fraser and Trump will attend a boxing match featuring Tyson Fury - both are great fans of Mr Fury, not least because he is clearly a man of deep religious convictions.

Psalm 47

Psalm 47, sung regularly in St Mary's, Newington


  1. At risk of being moderated for bad taste, I would point out that in some English dialects the word "trump" is a vulgar alternative for the involuntary emission of noxious gas resulting from the fermentation of bowel contents - which, given Mr Trump's utterances, does seem a right case of nominative determinism.

    1. True enough Charles but also that word is used to take a trick because that card is of a superior suit which conquers all others.

    2. Giles Fraser recently wrote, "Moses didn’t have to worry about the hole in the roof. He worshipped in tents not temples. And we must learn to do the same."

      Here he clearly shows his in tent, in moving Trump and the other people on the edge of society (St Corbyn for example) into our homes whilst we move out into new refugee camps at Dover. Let's hope a Syrian family will take us in.

  2. Ah, a 'special relationship', indeed!

  3. No, Don hasn't got a wig. It is his dog, Hogarth. Don and his dog are practising Hindus and have lived in London in a previous incarnation. Proof:-