This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Friday, 17 June 2016

Pope claims that most Catholics are bastards

Pope Francis, in his usual friendly I-hates-you-all-because-you-is-not-saved-only-I-is-saved style, has claimed that most Catholic marriages are invalid, thereby implying that the fruits of the marriage (kids) are technically bastards.

John Major - also thought that most of his colleagues were bastards.

As has already been pointed out by wiser people than myself*, it is quite likely that most ordinations were also invalid - we can give you a list of prime suspects on request - not to mention Masses, Reconciliation (Penance), etc.

*wiser, but less saved, perhaps.

Having spent the three years of his papacy in accusing Catholics of particular sins (Pope Francis has a particular objection to holiness, faithfulness, honesty, truthfulness and orthodoxy), the Holy Father has now decided to "go for broke" by issuing this general Commination on his Church.

"O God! I've just insulted my own parents!"

Some critics (not us) have responded by suggesting that certain papal conclaves were invalid, because either Cormac Murphy-O'Connor and his mates interfered, or simply because the the cardinals ended up electing a rather dim person who didn't understand canon law. I expect that dear brother Mundabor could tell you more.

However, we should remember that the choice of the Pope is made by the Holy Spirit, possibly influenced by the Spirit of Vatican II, and that God moves in a mysterious way His wonders to perform. He plants His footsteps in the sea, and rides upon the storm. After one saintly Pope, and one very learned Pope, it is clear that the time had come for the Church to be led by someone very different. You got it.

12 comments:

  1. We are all bar stewards together and being short changed.

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  2. Yes, the pope has opened up a pander's box with this latest intervention.

    Though for the record, in case people think you are serious, pope's are not necessarily chosen by the Holy Spirit; that's why we pray so hard for theHoly Spirit's guidance before a conclave.

    But I am straining at gnats...

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  3. When Benedict XVI announced his resignation, can we be sure he had “a proper understanding of permanence and commitment”? There are grounds for suspecting the answer may be “No, he just meant he was taking a few months’ sabbatical leave to get his new book finished.” With that little job out of the way, Benedict is now ready to resume his pontifical duties, according to his secretary Georg Gänswein:

    http://chiesa.espresso.repubblica.it/articolo/1351317?eng=y

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    Replies
    1. From your lips to God's ears!!!

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    2. I would not trust the Espresso, Repubblica Group (Scalfari), as it might be a way to poison the well on possible new outings by Ratzinger.

      Yet I believe that Ratzinger knows what he is doing, only time will tell.

      Delete
  4. Just fell over this blog. Glad I did!

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  5. Do not worry, a Pope speaks in an infallible way only in footnotes, and only if he later forgets about them.
    Besides, most news items are completely made up.

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  6. The dying novus ordo is on the steep slippery slope downwards into oblivion - this is the greatest achievement of the last 5 liberal modernist papacies. Deo Gratias. May it come sooner than later.

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  7. It's like you're readong my mind, man lol! It must be said, for someone who does not judge Pope Francis does narf make me feel guilty. I get enough flack from non Catholics but when the Pope basically tells you you're a jerk, what are meant to think?

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  8. But were they valid papacies? Oh dear, I'm really, what's the word, confused now. Where's the Guyanan rum? That's infallibly the best!

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  9. I often as a child considered that perhaps my parents had originally been validly married, but then become somehow unmarried for the birth of one of my brothers, and then remarried for the rest of us, but perhaps that's because we were only #RelativelyCatholic

    ReplyDelete