This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Friday 21 September 2018

The Dictator Apostle

Jerusalem, A.D. 33. Ecclesiam reports.

I've just been reading "The Dictator Apostle" by Marcus Antonius, alias the historian Henry the Sire-enian, who is very critical of Jorgas Iscarglio, one of the 12 Apostles.

Many people, notably St Stephen of Walford, keeper of the piano keys, would claim that Iscarglio, as an apostle, is beyond criticism. After all, he was appointed by Jesus Himself and given authority to cast out evil spirits (e.g. Jesuits) and to cure diseases. However, the reality suggests that somehow the St Galilee Mafia fixed it for Jorgas to get the job, and his Apostleship will lead to disaster.

Blasphemous picture of Francis

He's not the Messiah, he's just a very naughty apostle.

Criticisms of Iscarglio, the "Argentinian" apostle, centre on his aggressive and dictatorial nature, his dodgy financial transactions (involving an unexplained donation of 30 pieces of silver), his attempts to rewrite Christian teaching on marriage, his refusal to discuss doctrine with his dubious colleagues, even his encouragement of Cardinal Maccabees the serial sex-criminal.

Like his Master, Jorgas consorts with publicans and sinners, but unlike Him he tells them "Keep it up, you're doing a grand job. Who am I to judge?" When one notorious sinner, Bono the Tuneless, came to see him, explaining that he was pro-abortion, and was backed by a very dodgy group, Iscarglio merely replied, "U2?"

Attempts are already being made to declare Jorgas a saint.

Henry the Sire-enian believes it will end badly for Jorgas, and he may be right.

17 comments:

  1. Absolutely brilliant. And that picture of bergoglio as a semi divine saintly being with Jesus Mary and Joseph looking on, must have been approved by bergoglio is absolutely blasphemous.
    Has he no shame?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Sire-enian, you say, Eccles the Wise, believes it will end badly for horrid Iscarglio: OH, I DO HOPE SO!! (Said, at the very thought, gleefully, may I be forgiven.) He is, blatantly, a politician aping a holy man -- a huge cuckoo inserted into the apostles' nest principally by the subterfuge of the Sancte Galilee Mafia. By teaching heresy and confirming heretics in their beliefs and sinful lives he is clearly perverting the Roman Faith and diminishing the Holy Empire.

    ReplyDelete
  3. How can you deny he's a saint? He's one and a half times holier than Padre Pio. He can trilocate.

    ReplyDelete
  4. "Argentinian" apostle was fairly brilliant if you know Latin ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I wish I could say that I had been brilliant, but it was an accidental play on words.

      Delete
    2. BLIMEY that's a subtle one, and many-hued !!!

      Very well conceived, and thank you ...

      Delete
    3. Go on...let the rest of us in on it...

      Delete
    4. I think it's a reference to Argentum = silver (a chemistry teacher should know that!)

      Delete
    5. At its basis, it means "rainbow-hued" -- silvery is a secondary meaning.

      Delete
  5. Bono the tuneless hath been known to avoideth the company of the tax collectors!

    ReplyDelete
  6. I has gots to gets me one of them Francis posters before they is all pulped. I can't recall ever seeing him emulating the main stance in the centre picture so going by the face and the more svelte figure than is the case in real life, I'm almost certain that Hector Cuper was the artist's actual model. The much-travelled Hector is now enjoying life in Uzbekistan which come to think of it wouldn't be a bad spot for Francis to visit...on a permanent basis.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Didn't he say he was like Jesus, then say "I'm the devil"? What if tomorrow he's Diocletian? I'm gettin scared Eccles.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, I wasn't sure whether "I'm the Devil" is to be regarded as a Magisterial statement, or simply a joke like Amoris Laetita.

      Delete
  8. When I read Henry Sire's book, I was most struck by reading again (in Chapter V) about the destruction of the Franciscan friars and sisters of the Immaculate. Then their persecutor Fr Volpi died. I let out a great cheer when I heard this news at the time, and had to go to confession. Now, reliving the experience in Henry Sire's excellent book, I let out a cheer again. Oh bugger, I must go and seek my confessor and tell him Fr Volpi (God rest his roasting soul) has dropped me into sin again...

    ReplyDelete