This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 16 September 2019

Eight eminent journalists battle it out

Here is the draw for the quarter-finals of the World Cup of Bad Catholic Journalists. Eight superstars are battling it out, and updates to this post will be made as the results come in. Voting starts tomorrow.

1. Thomas Rosica v Antonio Spadaro.
42-58. The witless worm beats the plagiarist into submission.

2. Massimo Faggioli v Mark Shea.
77-23. Wisdom and ice-cream win over great charm.

3. Christopher Lamb v James Martin.
17-83. Lambkin has talent, but Jimbo is a class act.

4. Austen Ivereigh v Michael Sean Winters.
77-23. No surprises there, although MSW does his best.

Round 1 weeded out most of the non-entities, leaving mostly people of known power and influence. The carnage in Round 2 was severe: first Dawn the Merciless and the Horan of Babylon were left reeling; then feminism took a knock as Tuna Buttie and Ma Pepsi were sent back into the kitchen.

People's vote

Supporters of Bobby Mickens demand a re-vote.

Comrade Dettloff was then made an unperson, and Ratty Mickens was narrowly cast aside; finally Liz Bruenig, who got into Round 2 by asking her followers to support her, joined pianist extraordinaire "Paderewski" Walford in the bin. There's enough discarded talent there to make the Amazon Synod look orthodox!

Anyway, we look forward to some interesting fights now, with lots of blood on the carpet.

Beverley Racecourse

Place your bets on Martin, Ivereigh, Faggioli, or an outsider!


  1. Very tough draw. Some high-end talent there (and no, I was not poking fun at James Martin).

  2. My choices: Rosica; Faggioli; Martin; Ivereigh.

  3. Keeping with the fishy theme, I'm mourning the loss of Tuna Buttie. However, will have to console myself with my second choice, that lightening fast perciform from the istiophoridae family, the slippery spiked Jimmy Marlin. He now splashes into first place for me...

  4. Unbelievable that Rosica is out. His errors are legion. No one - no one - comes close to his bad journalism. He has been unjustly treated by your readers, sir. He deserves better than this.