Now, please make no mistake, A cardinal likes cake! You think that I should diet? Only an indietrist would try it!"But what if little Piglet doesn't have any cake?" asked Pooh. "Should I go and see my friend the wise owl MASSIWOL instead? No, he has taken up theology now, and he won't listen to me if I hint that it's time for a little something. Or rather, a big something would be better..."
Who stopped the Mass? You may call uncle Arthur an ass, But he stopped the Mass! Tiddly-pom!
The Friar asked His Superior, Who spoke to The Commissioner: "Could we please use Latin in The Mass That we hold?" The Commissioner, Named Volpi, Said "No way, How dare you? You may be Friars Immaculate - But you'll do just what You're told!"
And you can put that skull away, too!
"It's daft," Said the Friar, "We can't have any Latin now." "It's daft," Said his Superior, "You heard what he Just said?" "Look here," Said the Commissioner, "We're giving up the Latin tongue. From now on it's Shine, Jesus, Shine and Inwood (Paul) instead."
What Pope John-Paul II had in mind for the FFI.
The Friar said, "But surely - The EF Mass is Valid still? I've read Summorum Pontificum: We're told it's All O.K." The Commissioner said "Right, mate! We're closing down The seminary. We're sacking The Superior. You'll do just as I say!"
You're fired!
"Gosh!" Said the Friar As he prayed a Fervent Rosary. "Gosh!" Said his Boss, As he packed His bags. "Nobody, Dear Lord, Would call me a Fussy man But I do like a little bit of Latin in my Mass!"This poem is incomplete, but a possible ending is the following:
There, there! He didn't really mean it.
The Pope said, "There, there! He didn't really Mean it." The Commissioner said "Oh Hell! The Pope thinks I was wrong." The Superior said "Ha ha! Can I have my Job back?" He unpacked His suitcase And he burst Into song.
The Friar celebrates.
The Friar Was delighted, When he heard His boss returning. The Friar did A handstand, And said "Deo Gratias!" "Nobody," he said, As he turned A cartwheel, "Nobody," he said, As he slid down The banisters, "Nobody, Dear Lord, Could call me A fussy man - BUT I do like a little bit of Latin in my Mass!"With apologies to A.A. Milne.
They're changing popes at Vatican Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. Francis is washing a Muslim girl's feet - "That is going to go down a treat," Says Alice. They're changing popes at Vatican Palace - The new pope needs no cooks or valets. A grand apartment he wants to decline - "That cupboard under the stairs is fine," Says Alice.
An apartment fit for a pope!
They're changing popes at Vatican Palace - Dawkins shows his usual malice. We saw a concert: the pope stayed away - "I think he's busy with 'pope things' today," Says Alice. They're changing popes at Vatican Palace - We hear of scandals worse than in Dallas. They told me of a naughty old vicar - "That surely can't be Monsignor Ricca?" Says Alice.
I must do something about you - and let go of my ear!
They're changing popes at Vatican Palace - We've plastic cups, instead of a chalice. A bunch of bishops broke into a dance - "Vin will do likewise when he gets a chance!" Says Alice.
Both arms in, and shake 'em all about...
They're changing popes at Vatican Palace - Rock music's in: out goes Thomas Tallis. Pepinster's telling the pope what to do - "That loopy old woman hasn't a clue," Says Alice. They're changing popes at Vatican Palace - Christopher Robin went down with Alice. "Do you approve of Pope Francis's style?" "Not always - but still he's got a nice smile," Says Alice.
Alternative words are permitted, replacing "Christopher Robin" by "Cardinal Cormac", "Father John Zuhlsdorf", "Damian Thompson", or the name of some other religious figure.
