This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Wednesday 1 February 2012

Highlihgts of Damain's blogg

For dem wot hasnt been readin Damain Thopmson's blogg recently, I has sellected some of de highlihgts, and put dem in a sensible order, wot Diqsus can't do. You can see dat we is survivin very well in de absence of de Cathlics.


Damian Thompson

Damian Thompson

Was Opus Dei to blame?

steamroller

I was in Australia last week, and came across the following news item. It's the only interesting thing I've seen recently with a religious theme, so I'm putting it on my blog in order to fill up space.

Delays to roadworks in Pottymouth


Essential road repairs in Pottymouth were delayed by two hours yesterday after a steam roller ran over a Roman Catholic priest, killing him instantly. Eye-witnesses said that the priest, who has not been named, jumped into the road to snatch a sweet golden-haired child out of the path of the steam roller, saving her life.


Micky Dross  MickyDross
A priest killed by a steamroller. ROFL.

Markus Raver  markus_raver
I see that the priest was running to grab a child, Mucky. This is just the sort of suspicious conduct that we expect from Catholic priests. On my uncle Richard Dawkins's site dawkins.ego.trip.com we have been discussing whether it should be made illegal for Catholic priests to walk down the street without wearing handcuffs. The consensus is that all priests should be hanged anyway, so handcuffs probably aren't necessary. As a scientist, I think that's fair, don't you, Mucky?

windy  wendyhouse
Surveys have shown that men are 10% more likely to be run over by a steamroller than women. This is yet another argument in favour of the immediate ordination of women as bishops. When it the Catholic church going to advance into the 1960s and create a Mome rather than a Pope?

Sanity  sanityclause
What's the use of my struggling through blizzards to the only Internet café within 1000 feet of the summit of Mount Everest, if Benedict Carter isn't here for me to be rude to? If he turns up with his gang of acolytes, tell him to go and
(Edited by a moderator)

Debbie moans  deborahcomplains
I see that Peter Mullen is still alive, even though he has passed the Biblical limit of three score and ten years. Doesn't this man have the decency to realise that the Anglican church has no place for people like him? Why doesn't he throw himself under a steam roller?

St Cuttley  stcuttley
I hope you don't mind my mentioning this, but we are having great trouble with my lovely daughter, who wants to go on a singing trip to the South Pole. The school has asked me for an indemnity of £10,000 in case her singing drives any penguins to drown themselves. Do you think I should pay it? P.S. Sorry to read about the priest being squashed.

Holpemboob  Holpemboob
A priest squashed by a steam-roller? Is there supposed to be a problem with that?

Anti Moly  Moly Bendit
Woeful, isn't it, the way that fanatical Catholics insist on interfering with a child's right to sit in front of a steam-roller. It's typical of the disgraceful conduct we've come to expect from the clique of traddy Catholics and their sockpuppets.

My uncle, Black Jack of Pottymouth, used to drive a steam-roller through the streets when I was a litte girl, and he would never have dreamt of stopping for any children or priests in his path.

Such is life, eh.

Eccles  Eccles
This comment is awaiting moderation

Anti Moly  Moly Bendit
Eccles,

I do not read your blog. It contains nothing but lies about stbosco, and me, and our families. I counted 109 insulting and defamatory statements in your postings last month. What's more, I am not your great-aunt, I am not pining for the love of Cardinal Pell, and I do not have a problem with gin. So there's no point saying all these things in your blog, as I won't read them. Why doesn't the Telegraph do something about your comments?

I am always in bed by 8 p.m. GMT, so stop pretending that I stay up all night.

Moly (yes, I was formerly Judy8, but I was never banned, after that I was AlfredHaddock, but I don't use sockpuppets).

Eccles  Eccles
Dem's creul words, Anti Moly
(Edited by a moderator)

Dross  MickyDross
Moly, you know that Damian doesn't try to enforce the Telegraph Terms and Conditions. He lets Catholics insult everyone without doing anything to stop it. But when I try to post pictures of rotting carcasses or to make fun of young girls, my posts get reported by the Catholics and promptly deleted. It's so dreadfully unfair.

Daz  Daz
As a 'whimsical' old man who likes 'apostrophes' I was 'wondering' whether the 'priest' who met such a sad 'end' was held in high 'e-steam' by his colleagues, and was simply looking for a new 'role'. After his 'experiences' he was obviously feeling a bit 'crushed' and must have felt that 'life' was leaving him a little 'flat'. My best regards to you, Daz.

Anti Moly  Moly Bendit
Daz,

When I was a member of the Pottymouth Festival Choir, they said I was the flattest singer they had. Woeful, isn't it?

Daryl  drivelbrown
Now that the rabit and his Iberian stable of sockpuppets have gone away (it is obvious that Benedict Carter, Tro, Hamish Redux, Golden Chersonnese, Damon, Annie, Jadis, Puddleglum, Johnhenry, Fizzypilgrim and Terry Tubby are all expatriates living in the Iberian peninsula, probably all in the same house), we may hope that the Catholic church will move quickly to a modern pro-abortion policy, and replace all its altars by snooker tables.

Gay Cat  GayCat
Did I ever mention that I am gay and my boyfriend is a Catholic archbishop? I know you all wanted to hear this.

Anti Moly  Moly Bendit
GayCat,

Don't trust archbishops, I could tell you a thing or two about my experiences with Cardinal
(Edited by a moderator)

27 comments:

  1. My donkeys have been rolling all over the stable floor laughing at your latest, Eccles. A tour de force.

    Seriously, for once, I have no idea who you are. None of the Catholic group know who you are. (Some even think you are Rabit. A great tribute, b ut we know you are not.)

    Contact all of us on catwot@gmail.com and join us. Please do come in. We have a project under way. If you keep your anonymity, you have our continuing admiration!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Um, fanks rabit. For de momment I is stayin incongito, but I may pubblish an e-mail adress soon, so dat poeple can contact me privetly if dey wishes to be saved.

      Delete
    2. Email the cat wot noes the rabit and geebers. This is not a gay cat. You preesumably have my adress as well as i am a camp follower who intends to be a savd pusson at sum point, though not if it involves tambourines.

      Delete
    3. Well I has now got an e-mail adress in case anyone wants to talk to me (Bosco doesnt). It's savedecclesATgmail.com - I has put de AT instead of an @ to stop unsaved poeple from sendin me spamm, so you has to make de obviuos change.

      But I aint gonna admit to bein anyone else, even if you torchers my Anti Moly. You can be as voilent as you like, and I still won't confess.

      Delete
    4. Torcher is reading aunt moli xx You, on the other hand, is v funny - and even tho damian666 is back, his blog is unfunny and not sav'd.

      Delete
    5. Ullo, Anonnymous, we quakes in fear in case one day Anti Moly decides to write a blogg of her own.

      Delete
    6. It would be 'woeful'.

      Delete
  2. Dem's creul words Eccles.......

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. As my big bruvver Bosco says, you gotta be creul to save people from de Lake of Fire.

      Delete
  3. This is a new high water mark, sheer brilliance !!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dat's very kind, JabaPappa. Howevver, I'm afriad dat dis excerpt from Damain's blogg don't contain much spiritaul nuorishment.

      Delete
    2. Everything looks high to you Jabba. You are lower than a snake in a wagon track

      Delete
    3. I hope that all your cement doves are savd from the Lake of Fire bosco.

      They might be crackd !!!

      Delete
    4. You must have me confused with a graven image kisser catholic idolater, like yourself. Now get back on your knees befor jupiter, the Pope commands you

      Delete
    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    6. You must have confused your own psychotic monomaniacal ravings with Christianity.

      Delete
    7. It is easy to get confused, Jabba. I put two beermats in the toaster last week and created a puddle of fire in my kitchen. I extinguished it with a copy of Fr Arthur's sermons - it works better than a wet blanket.

      Delete
  4. That is because you are posting quotes from people what is not savd.

    Woeful !!!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Absolute genius! Thank you for making me laugh. Good to see so many familiar posters are now here. I simply can't imageine who you are, Eccles - except I don't think you are female.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You is very wellcome here, Cecillia. It is nice to see dat poeple reads dis blogg wot I didnt even know about.

      Delete
  6. Eccles is the rabit you ninnys. And Happy Boscomas to you all. I found out why catholic blogs ban non catholics,or most of them. If the Jupiter kissin moderator sees that you know whats up, they ban you fast. Did you know that most catholic priests are into satanism? Did you know to be promoted to higher ranks in the clergy one must be a satanist? I have found this all out recently, from an Ex priest 90th degree Mason warlock. Catholic blogs cut you out befor you get to inform people of that.So, keep goin to your catholic cult and get blessing from your local warlock

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nope I aint de rabit, Bosco, has I gotta get a letter from a Pop in good stand-in to prove it?

      You gotta watch out for dem 90th degree Masson warlocks freinds of yours, dere bruvver, cos I has a suspicoin dat dey aint saved.

      Delete
    2. We have your email address, Eccles, and we want you to join us. Invitation will be heading your way! Please respond and come in.

      (An anonymous rabit.)

      Delete
  7. Can I join the party? Will something interesting happen if I e-mail catwot?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ah that's better, my avatar is now saved.

      Delete
    2. ur avatar is not savd, only my avatar is savd

      Delete
  8. Hamish,

    Yoda here! Yes do contact catwot. Use an anonymous address, and bona fides for inspection, present!

    ReplyDelete