This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 29 January 2012

Damain, Datin and Dakwins

We had a short visitt from Damain Thopmson, who is finishin off his book about addictoin. He says dat it is a strange fing but he can't stop writin books. "I'll just do one more," he says, but den he finds dat he needs annuvver, and annuvver. De next one is gonna be de boigraphy of Joanne Hairy, a chap dat he reely admires.

Clevver Damain

Dat's de cosstume Damain wears in churhc, so dat de preist knows he gotta Ph.D. and a blogg of his own, and dont try bein clevver in his sermon.

Anyway, Damain was resaerchin a chapter on Innternet Addictoin, so we let him observe Anti Moly one evenin, as she picked up de gin bottle and started bloggin. We got de usaul cries of "Woful!", "Sockpoppet!" and "Dem muddlerators has deleted all my sutbly crafted insults again!" At about 3.30 a.m. Damain staggered out of de room, bleary-eyed.

"Is Anti goin to bed now?" I asked.

"Bed? Nope she says she's good for anuvver 2 hours yet," mumbled Damain, "but I finks I got enuogh materail for an entire chapter on addictoin, obsessoin and fannaticism."

My love-sick Anti Moly is gettin a bit anxiuos about Cradinal Pell, so I suggested dat we take her to a datin agency. Dey gave her a form askin her what kind of date she wanted, and she put "Cradinal," finkin of Cradinal Pell, aldough I dont spose dey has many cradinals singed up wiv de agenncy.

Dating company

Dis is a pitcher of de big machine dey uses to help poeple find romanntic happinness, togevver wiv two satissfied cusstomers.

Datin machine

Dey scanned my Anti Moly and said "Eccles, dis relick you has bruoght in is about 100 years old, even if it seems much more decayed dan dat." Well, you has geussed it, dey misread Anti's rotten handwrittin and did crabon datin on her instead.

We is gonna have to take de direct appraoch and go to Sidney to find Cradinal Pell.

Little Markus de boy scuot keeps us up to date wiv de activvities of his Uncle Dakwins, and he burst into tears when he fuond out dat Dakwins was in prisson. He had attempted to arrest Farver Arfur, de preist in good stand-in, who was back in England, and goin aruond under de new allias of A.K.A. Givin such a silly name ("Ullo, I is Farver Aka"), Farver Arfur was easily located, but in de end dey arrested Dakwins for harrissin cosstume holly men in good stand-in. Here he is in goal.

Dakwins in goal

Howevver, dere is a happy outcome, as far as little Markus is concerned. When he was in goal, Dakwins was visited by a pastor from de local Calumny Chappel, who put up de bale so dat Dakwins cuold be released.

Dakwins saved

Dis is de latest photto we has of Markus's uncle Dakwins. Perhaps after all he is gonna be saved.

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