This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday 6 May 2012

Just another Minute

Now that Nicholas Parsons has been given some much-needed counselling, we resume our panel game "Just a Minute" with Moly Badnite, Damian Thompson, Ken Livingstone and Richard Dawkins. Recall that panelists must speak for one minute without (a) being rude about anyone, (b) rolling on the floor laughing, or (c) talking about their boring family.

NP: Right, Richard Dawkins, you have one minute on the subject of "World War II."

RD: The role of the Catholic church in World War II was truly shameful. It was Pope Pius XII who gave Hitler the idea of persecuting the Jews, you know. Pius instructed young Joseph Ratzinger, now Pope Benedict XVI, to found the Hitler Youth - he liked parading in funny costumes, still does. Having heard that, how can anyone pretend that God exists? ROFL.  BZZZ.

Dawkins ROFL

NP: A challenge from Ken Livingstone there. Yes, Richard lost control and started ROFLing.  Is there a doctor in the house? Ken, 45 seconds left on the subject of World War II.

KL: Hitler didn't like the Jews because they were all too rich to vote for him, and I have the same problem. My father warned me, you know. "Ken," he said, "Muslims good, Jews bad. IRA good, Tories bad. When in doubt make friends with the ones with the bombs. Got that?" BZZZ.

Livingstone and friend

NP: Well Damian Thompson was the first to spot the gratuitous reference to a boring family-member. Damian, 32 seconds on "World War II."

DT: For all his faults, Josef Goebbels did obtain a Ph.D. from Heidelberg University in 1921, and he was a successful journalist in his younger days, sometimes known as Das Blut-verrückten Frettchen. He wrote a best-selling book Gegenwissen, which he followed up with Der Fix. You wouldn't see a thicko like Richard Chartres... BZZZ.

NP: A challenge from Ken Livingstone there. Yes, Richard lost control and started ROFLing. Is there a doctor in the house? Ken, 45 seconds left on the subject of World War II.

MB: Er... Well... Um... Can I mention the woefully shameful way I was treated by Hermann Goering? I still remember those balmy nights in Berlin, when we danced romantically together by the light of the moon.  My father said we made a lovely couple. I've got a photo here.

Moly and Goering

MB (continues): In those days many of my "rels" were Catholic. BZZZ Shut up, will you? Not fanatical rude obsessed sock-puppet Catholics like James MacMillan. BZZZ BZZZ. SHUT UP! Devout saintly non-believing Catholics, the best kind. ROFFAM. BZZZ BZZZ BZZZ.

NP: What's ROFFAM? Oh yes, "rolls on floor foaming at mouth." Well, Moly got through to the final buzzer, but her nephew Eccles has just come on with a wheel-barrow to take her home. So it's goodbye from me. I'll be back when Hell freezes over, but not much sooner.

14 comments:

  1. And next week's guest stars will be Sr Murial and Peter Tatchell, who will not hesitate to deviate repetitively.

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  2. The young St Cuttley looks so much like Ken Livingstone. Are they related?

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  3. They have a common ancestor in Attila the Hun, which explains in part why St Cuttley is so often drawn to wandering around Italy without his trousers, and why Ken is so often drawn to a crate of Barolo.

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    1. In de pitcher, Gerry Addams has just buoght a copy of Ken Cuttley's latest book "Boris takes charge."

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  4. Was moly send out of the roon for repeating woeful and rofl?

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  6. Hey, I got here. Hello to the click and to darling Eccles. xx Jess

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    1. Ullo Jessicca, and lots of luv from Eccles (saved).

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    2. Thanx so much Eckles, with lol from Jess (not yet saved)

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  7. darling eccles, tho' not as good for sav'd pussons,I blog a little here: https://theneedleblog.wordpress.com/2012/05/12/blogging-on-religion/

    any and all members of the gallant click very welcome. (Don't tell anti-Moli unless you want to hear her say 'woefull' again.
    lol from Jess xx

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    1. I will mentoin it to de gang of 27, Jessicca. You was very badly treated on Damain's blogg, and I hopes you is OK now.

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    2. Dear Jessica

      I can't leave a message on your lovely new blog without revealing my secret identity (and I would then have to shoot you, which would be a shame, and a mortal sin to boot).

      Yours is a lovely blog, and restores my faith that the British educational system is still working to produce literate thoughtful young adults. (Assuming that it is not all a figment of an Iberian Rabit's imagination).

      Jessica, please would you and your friends be careful not to let slip any biographical detail there, as you may attract Stalker Phil - and he really is a nutter. He has been trying to make assignations with my character - and if he feels like that about a 5000 year old witch, goodness knows what lengths he would go to to meet young and attractive people...

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    3. Dear Jadis- how lovely of you to write. Now that some of the things which meant I had to stay off the Web are nearly dealt with (Rabit knows about them, and was so sweet trying to protect my privacy whilst warning the loons off)I have ventured back a little. But I am only too aware of the need to stay private and reveal nothing to the Creepy Crew.

      Somehow I am less surprised that Phil wants to meet a 5000 year old witch, as he seems to be the familiar to one a little younger.

      Very kind of you to encourage my poor efforts; I do mu best, and it was very kind of my co-host to let me have a go.

      xx Jess

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    4. Darling eccles- many thanks. Mr. Rabit knows why I have to be so protective of my information, and I am glad to see some of the gallant band on my little blogg. I may not be a 'save'd pusson' yet, but I am grateful to those who 'saved' me in a different way. xx Jess

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