"With hindsight, we would have done things differently," explained Dom Pedro d'Alvadorez. "For a start, we should really have used coffee rather than wine. After all, we've got an awful lot of coffee in Brazil (it's where the nuts come from), and I am sure that the Holy Father would have been delighted to see us advertise our products in this way."
Dom Pedro and Donna Lucia demonstrate the Mass-o-matTM.
"We advise future World Youth Days to serve pre-consecrated Holy Communion in a food-and-drink machine," he went on. "Who can doubt that Jesus would have been a fan of fast food, if it had existed in His day?"
Fr John Zuhlsdorf, a leading liturgical expert, was unavailable for comment, having collapsed in an apoplectic fit.
Fr Z. demonstrates the liturgically correct way to drink coffee (rite of Pope Bibit V).