This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 12 August 2013

Are atheists more handsome?

After failing to convince people that atheists were statistically more intelligent than "faith-heads" - which of course would instantly prove that all religion was a load of rubbish - Prof. Richard Dawkins has come up with another devastating argument for his beliefs. Yes, it seems that atheists are more handsome than religious people.


A typically handsome atheist.

We should contrast the above picture with one of a typically ugly Christian. Whoever I choose, I am going to be told off for a lack of gallantry, so let's pick the lovely Dena O'Callaghan, billed as a "woman Catholic priest", whatever that may be.

Dena O'Callaghan

Dena - she has the Dr Who scarf, but she wasn't chosen as an assistant.

The aesthetic argument does not exhaust the wide array of anti-God logic that Richard Dawkins has at his disposal. Statistically, atheists are better athletes and better cooks, they win more prizes for vegetable marrows at country fairs, and of course they tell funnier jokes.

giant atheist marrow

A giant atheist marrow, probably. (Someone please check!)

Says Dawkins: "Christians, Muslims, Jews and the rest are very much stuck in the dark ages. Many of them can't even read. Trust me, I'm a retired professor of zoology and I know about these things."

Christian writer

A typical Christian - wrote the Bible, but knew nothing of genetics.

However, Richard Dawkins's latest comments to his millions of adoring fans are starting to irritate even moderate atheists. Said one, "Clearly, Christians are uglier and less intelligent than atheists, with the possible exception of Giles Fraser. No Guardian-reader would ever disagree! But when Richard says that they smell funny, refuse to change their socks, and break wind in public, it is hard to translate this into a direct argument for the non-existence of God."

Dawkins smells something

Hmm, there's a funny smell in here. Can it be one of those Christians?


  1. Dear Sir,

    As much as you find it amusing to debunk Professor Dawkins' views on Christianity, you will be hard pressed to find anything of substance logically worth supporting in the Catholic faith. Having explored this problem exhaustingly in three meetings attended by a lot of people, I think it is time for the bishops to come clean and tell us that belñieving all this nonsense in the Catechism is unsustainable.

    Yours arrogantly,
    Nigel Frothing,
    Communications Officer, Tunbridge Wells ACTA

  2. Two cannibals are eating an atheist, and one says to the other, "Can you believe the way this guy tastes?"

  3. Q.How can you tell if an atheist lives in your refrigerator?

    Ans.You find a copy of The God Delusion hidden in the cream cheese.

  4. When all is said and done, Dick Darkins views are only in a immature state of evolution.

  5. Paraphrasing Úrsula P leguin:
    True.Secularists - cardcarrying atheists have ace bodies maybe.
    Except for their faces.
    Elderly and mature Christian faces, nuns faces especially, are shiny, beautiful.Like M.Teresa. cracked lined, bowed, bent, weathered, worn , fitforthe junkyard.
    And beautiful

  6. "I am a handsome man, but I'm a gay deceiver." George Coleman

    If the shoe fits...

  7. What about the Yoof at the Catholic Herald? They all seem rather classical? Aren't Eccles and Bosco also in "Pin Up Clerics, 2013"?