This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 13 May 2017

Colbert tells a joke, and Fry is prosecuted

The world was in shock this week when it was revealed that Stephen Colbert, the leading Catholic and bosom friend of Fathers Martin and Rosica, had told a joke.

Colbert, Martin and Rosica

Spot the comedian!

An angry fan protested: "I have been a watcher of the Dead Show since the days of David Letterbox, and I was told that when Stephen Colbert took it over, he would maintain the tradition of hurling insults and dirty innuendos at Christians, Conservatives, and anyone else who didn't buy into the liberal secular consensus of Hillary Clinton, Planned Parenthood, etc. But now he has actually told a joke!"

David Letterman

"I was on this show for 94 years, and they still haven't gotten any curtains for the windows."

Colbert's joke, admittedly an old one, went like this:

Two Jesuit novices both wanted to smoke cannabis while they prayed. They decided to ask their superior for permission. The first asked, but was told no. A little while later he spotted his friend smoking cannabis. "Why did the superior allow you to smoke cannabis, but not me?" he asked. His friend replied, "Because you asked if you could smoke cannabis while you prayed, and I asked if I could pray while I smoked cannabis!"

Fr James Martin SJ is an old friend of Colbert and a Vatican consultant on theology. His input to Pope Francis's next apostolic exhortation What Laetitia did next, correcting various errors in the New Testament, will be greatly valued. Jim was also horrified at this betrayal. "I expected Stephen to make some harmless allegations about homosexual intercourse between Trump and Putin," he explained. "These would have offended nobody, indeed at our Jesuit Community of New Heresies we would have been delighted. But then he starts introducing inappropriate elements such as humour into his monologues."

Colbert and Martin

"Blah blah blah Trump blah blah blah."

Meanwhile on the other side of the Atlantic, trouble is brewing for Stephen Fry, the comedian, actor, television presenter, author, activist, polymath, Renaissance man, brain surgeon, celebrity chef, nuclear scientist, composer, lion-tamer, plumber, jockey, that's enough things that Fry does badly... Under ancient Irish anti-boredom laws he is to be prosecuted for causing excessive tedium, having driven several people into a coma by droning on with his infantile views on religion. These are basically at the level of "If I can't get my own way on everything, I'll thcweam and thcweam until I'm thick. That will make God buck his ideas up a bit. Not that He exists of course."

Fry and Spencer

Stephen Fry's son Elliott reassures him that he is really a very interesting person.

Curiously, Fry's views on God - namely that He has got things wrong and can learn a lot from us humans - are not all that different to Fr Martin's. Oh my goodness, perhaps he IS James Martin. No, they can't both be so ubiquitous, can they?

1 comment:

  1. Perhaps Stephen Fry would be well advised to steer clear of Indonesia where Basuki Tjahaja Pumama who is also known as Ahok, the former Christian Mayor of Jakata, has been sentenced to two years imprisonment for Blasphemy against the Muslim religion.