"I did not meet the Forces of Darkness" claims Corbyn

There was further embarrassment for Jeremy Corbyn today over his dubious friendships, which apparently already include the IRA, Hamas, Hezbollah, and indeed almost any organization hating the UK. For it was claimed that Jezza had had amicable relationships with the Prince of Darkness and his minions.

Mephistopheles and Corbyn in negotiations.

Said Mr Corbyn, "No, I never met Mephistopheles, well, that is to say, yes we did have tea together, but we never negotiated the sale of my soul. You see, my adviser Diane Abbott had trouble getting to grips with the proposed financial arrangements. Anyway, all our discussions were aimed at promoting peace between the Forces of Good and the Forces of Evil. All right, I did go on a march in support of Satan, but I have a certain sympathy for him as a fallen angel; he tells me that he is excluded from Heaven by God, who is obviously a Tory, since He refuses to treat all people equally."

Was Jeremy Corbyn also an adviser to Stalin in the early 1950s?

Meanwhile, Theresa May is still expecting to win the General Election with her hard-hitting slogan "I may be a ghastly old bat, but at least I'm not Jeremy Corbyn."