This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 7 May 2017

The Catholic Education Service gives advice to St Custard's

Yes, it is me e.g. nigel molesworth the curse of st custard's which have now become a cathlic skool cheers cheers. We are now seeing a few changes, as mr braber of the cathlic educashun service hav sent headmaster GRIMES some giudlines on bullyin wot was written by STONEWAIL and the aqueerness centre chiz chiz.

molesworth 1

nigel, I want you to pay attenshun to the giudlines chiz.

It seme that ordinarry bullyin e.g. tuoghin up the new bugs behind the bike sheds is still all right. Pater say that havvin his head stuck down the tiolet every day made him the man he is now, and I can beleive that. No, the thing to aviod is HOMERPHOBBIC bullyin or HATE CRIM. Apparently it is all right if poeple like stephen frye hate cathlics but if we protest about the gay maffia it is hate crim.

Mr zullsdorf the lattin teecher make hillarious joke e.g. molesworth it is lucky we dont do GREKE as you would be homerphobbic as well as vurgilphobbic plinnyphobbic ceasarphobbic and all the other lattin wedes ha ha. But in fact we gotta take these giudlines very serouisly, as I will explane my deres.

this is my bro, molesworth 2, doin some homerphobbic bullyin.

As is well known my horibble bruvver molesworth 2 like to play fairy bells on the skool paino, until skool dog go mad and bite father rossica the chaplin as he sit in his room droolin over the tabblet. Now mr braber's giudlines say that the word FAIRY is homerphobbic, and so moleworth 2 is asked to play something more senssitive e.g. ELTON JHON's song that he sing to his kids, where's your muvver gone crappy crappy cheap cheap.

Next, my grate frend peason got six of the best from grimes for saying that my traners were a bit gay, for that is also an example of homerphobbic bullyin as any fule kno.

fotherington tomas

a wet and a wede.

But wot you may ask of fotherington tomas who say hullo clouds hullo sky and is the biggest sissy in the skool? It turn out that he is alreddy married with five kids, which is pretty good for an 11-year old, so we can pass over this hastily, it remind me of the time that armand MACCRON the french exchange boy ran off with prudence entwistle the undermatron and I think he is now doin quite well in french politicks.

Well I can see that we at st custards are goin to have to work hard to obey mr braber's giudlines. We are bein specially tollerant right now as sigismund the mad maths master have decided he want to TRANSISHUN and become a gurl and we should now refer to him as brunnhilde he is goin to dress up as a VALCURRY and hit poeple wih an axe so no change there.


sigismund, or rather brunnhilde chiz chiz.


  1. Chiz chiz stonwail cant spoil are funn. We got tined macceroni fake werms reddy for next time molesworth holds hands with fotherington tomas cheef sissy at our farther in chapple.

  2. A fule from america8 May 2017 at 13:00

    For my cuntrymen from the homerphobbic land of Trump. I sort of understand this post now, but not too much. I can tell it must be funny.

    1. The Molesworth books are strongly recommended, if you haven't read them.

    2. And superb parody here, if I may say so.

  3. Revved Nose-it-all kin he teche herstori n ded languishes. Gezzed lecherer. Juz done fede hymn eech vizit.. mabes fra honieswerd wud teech how ta bee a teem playah. Go Frank Go ! He cude teche who due whatwhenwhyhow n how t'converd angricans. Then ther be tru luv feral bruvvers. N seestahs. N tweeners.
    Long liv st custards we th' creme o' da crawp.

  4. Surrey I fergetted whu 'splainz rewls tha be Edie Pedders, who werks n cirkus az kannionisd wha shewts canibals frum vaterkinland. N'alzoh ferget t'nounce to sine up now fer skul brake clasz trippin n goin ta puton birknstalks n hit the beech in malter. Only 5 quid if yoose muz arsk.

  5. Brilliant. About time Stonewall started promoting Theology of the Body.

  6. I have always been against having French exchange students with their propensity for sexual attraction to geriatrics of the opposite sex..Nice wholesome English Catlick boys at St Custards should not be exposed to these sissy continental types with their grandma girfriends and Dior designer school uniforms.Monsieur Macaroni being a prime example.Don't be surprised if war is declared on Britain any time soon.People have long memories when it comes to having their head stuck down the toilet on a daily basis.Particularly the French who have a preference for the bidet. You're has probably made him the man he is today...this plus running off with Matron Killing -Me -Softly...determined to take his revenge tomorrow .

  7. So glad Molesworth is back! I missd him grately!
    But whatever became of your dere Ant Moly? Did she ever get to swim in the Tiber or somewhere?
    Jim of Olym