This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 4 February 2018

The Destruction of Swedom and Germannah

1. And the people of Swedom and Germannah did great evil in the sight of the Lord.

2. Now some of them were Lutherans, but the Lord said "I shall not destroy them by fire, for they know no better."

Pope and Antje Jackelen

"How nice of you to come and celebrate 500 years of heresy!"

3. However, the Catholics of Germannah had no such excuse, and the Lord was grievously offended by their deeds.

4. For there was a man named Rhino Marx, who had been set up as a leader of the Catholics of Germannah.

5. He came of a noble lineage, for his father was Karl, and his brothers included Groucho, Chico and Harpo.

Rhino Marx

Rhino, the last of the Marx brothers.

7. And in Germannah Rhino had decreed that there was only one possible sin.

8. Thus the man who committed adultery, the thief, the murderer, the bearer of false witness, and he who coveted his neighbour's ox were all deemed to be righteous.

9. But woe unto him who paid not his church taxes, for he would be excommunicated.

10. And Rhino Marx had a bed of iron, like unto that of Og of Bashan. For he had grown so fat by spending his church taxes on fatted calves and beer, that no wooden bed could support him.

Marx and Francis

"Guess what the Church is going to do next, Holy Father!"

11. Then one day Rhino spake out, saying, "Let us bless the unions of man with man, and woman with woman, which are very common in the lands of Swedom and Germannah."

12. "For there can be no evil in this if they have paid their church taxes."

13. And the Lord was exceeding wrathful, and said "I have made enough allowances for this fat buffoon."

14. "The time cometh soon when I shall rain brimstone and fire down on the land of Germannah."

15. And it was so.

8 comments:

  1. I'm sure this is part one. There's just got to be a continuation of this theme.

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  2. I usually make a witty comment but when confronted with this picture of His Holiness embracing a Lutheran priestess which can only be interpreted as support for 500 years of heresy I feel betrayed and am aghast and filled with a profound sadness for all Catholics who believe in Catholic doctrine and precepts. We have been promised that the gates of hell will not prevail against the Church. However since their are forces within at work bent on destroying it we all must pray for its deliverance from evil May God bless, help and protect us all !

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    1. https://aleteia.org/2016/06/13/when-cardinal-joseph-ratzinger-predicted-the-future-of-the-church/ great article --“The future of the Church can and will issue from those whose roots are deep and who live from the pure fullness of their faith. It will not issue from those who accommodate themselves merely to the passing moment or from those who merely criticize others and assume that they themselves are infallible measuring rods; nor will it issue from those who take the easier road, who sidestep the passion of faith, declaring false and obsolete, tyrannous and legalistic, all that makes demands upon men, that hurts them and compels them to sacrifice themselves. To put this more positively: The future of the Church, once again as always, will be reshaped by saints,...u might like to read it.

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  3. Waiting patiently, finger on the refresh button, for Part II.

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  4. Oh, I hadn't planned a sequel. Still, given the way things are going, there could be one some time.

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  5. Can't you make it in Part II that the earth opens up and swallows Rhino? God had the earth swallow people in the Old Testament and since you're the creator of the Destruction of Swedom and Germannah you can do make that happen too. Please.

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    1. There's a problem. The hole necessary for this condign punishment would have to be so large that it would probably swallow all of Munich. Surely there must be at least ten just men there! But, then....given that Marx and company have worked long and hard in those Teutonic fields, perhaps not....

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  6. Gods' finger hovers over the Smite button.

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