This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 10 August 2019

The Dean of Norwich defends herself

The (Anglican) Dean of Norwich, her Holiness the Very Reverend, Sacred and Venerable Minerva Mouse, has defended herself against criticism that installing a helter-skelter into Norwich cathedral was irreverent, blasphemous, bonkers, and Satanic (you choose).

Minnie Mouse

Dean Mouse stands outside her magnificent cathedral.

"In a very real sense - and I know that Bishop Duck agrees with me - spiralling downhill very quickly is a metaphor for the modern Anglican church. But let us not forget the immortal words of Mother Julian of Norwich, author of Rotations of Divine Love, even if she was a Catholic, and therefore a bit too God-obsessed:

He showed me a great tower, ringed with a steep helix, lying in the nave of a cathedral, as it seemed. I looked upon it with the eye of my understanding, and thought, 'What may this be?' And it was answered generally thus, 'It is all that Man will worship in the future.' I marvelled how it might last, for I thought it might suddenly have fallen to nothingness. And I was answered in my understanding: 'It lasts and ever shall, for God loves it.'

All shall be well, and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well. WHEEEEEEE!!!"

Donald Duck

Bishop Duck gives the Blessing.

A survey of members of the Church of England produced the following results:

1. Only 30% believed in God (falling to 5% when it came to the clergy).

2. Only 20% realised that Churches were the House of God, rather than simply funfairs with better architecture.

3. When asked who was the Son of God, only 10% said Jesus. Other responses included Mohammed, Richard Dawkins, and Stephen Fry.

Norwich cathedral (the ancient one) has long been appreciated as a place for religion-lite fun, as the following picture of a dignified prelate shows.

bishop jumping on custard

Bishop of Norwich jumps on a tray of custard (yes, really).

Meanwhile, Dean Mouse has put up a small shed near the old cathedral in which Christian worship can take place. "There will only be room for two or three people at a time, but that should easily be enough!" she explained.

However, as one commentator put it: "I came a long way to see this church, and there wasn't even a coconut shy or dodgem cars! How do they think they will attract pilgrims?"

very small church

The new Norwich cathedral.


  1. BRILLIANT !!!

    You couldn't make it up, could you !!!

  2. On the positive side...because both men are sooo demented, ECUMENISM may **NOW** actually be possible between his Emminence, the tragically silly and comically effeminate Lord Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby of Lambeth Palace and the supercilious pervert-enabling modernist, the world's number one clown of cultural Marxism, the VERY hypocritical, Pope Francis the First (a suspected Coprophiliac) from the pre-eminent walled and guarded country in the world, Vatican City State. Who could seen this one coming, way back in 2012?!?!?

    1. Hadn't seen the news about the coprophilia. Thanks!

  3. Not keeping up with the news these days, I had to google this Dean etc. She wears the suit of a male priest and has a "slide" in cathedral? Too much for my heart. O, please come Lord Jesus and come soon to render your judgment. But may God have mercy on those who trust in His mercy.

  4. Bishop Duck's blessing although it avoids the demented windmill approach unfortunately reminds one of a greeting during the Third Reich.

  5. The opening chapter of Dickens's "Edwin Drood" describes an opium den alongside Rochester Cathedral. Is it still there and used by some of the inhabitants of the close?

  6. Puddin'head Bish of Norwich makes an eggs-cellent custard. Or does he fancy he's treading upon grapes of wrath for the next Norwich helter-skelter Dean's demonic drinks party?

  7. Hmmmm...wrong castle. Think Julian of Norwich was seeing Minnie's Haunted House.