This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 17 May 2020

How should women dress in church?

It's the perennial debate - should women dress how they like in church, or should they dress in a restrained way, in order to avoid stimulating the lusts of lecherous men? Should men avert their eyes, or is that impossible?

priest in blindfold

Men: if embarrassed by improperly-dressed women, blindfold yourself!

Let's look at a few case studies, and see what the answer is.

liturgical dancing

RIGHT! These costumes show dignity, modesty, and above all practicality. If you're in the habit of shaking a leg in church during Mass, then we can recommend nothing better.

nuns

WRONG! A lot of men are stimulated by the sight of women in uniform, and so seeing nuns in full regalia is often more than the soul can bear. Why can't these ladies dress like those wonderful "nuns on the bus", who, by clothing and teaching, are totally unrecognisable as nuns?

Ignatian yoga

RIGHT! When I first saw the references to "yoga pants" I kept asking myself "Who is Yoga and why is he panting?" wondering whether this was something to do with Star Wars. However, these appear to be the sort of garment worn by ladies practising yoga. Now, Ignatian yoga is recommended by Fr James Martin LGBTSJ, and what else can you wear for this except Ignatian yoga pants?

mantilla brigade

WRONG! Mantillas merely stress the femininity of the wearer, as men would not be seen dead in them. Until we develop a new unisex mantilla that can be worn by men and women alike, we must not allow women to emphasise their fleecy assets! Also, they are RIGID.

Lizzie Reezay

RIGHT! I got this from someone called @LizziesaAnswers, a recent convert, who with only a year's experience of Catholicism is already able to answer questions on any subject under the sun, including those that have baffled Augustine, Aquinas and Pope Francis! So she obviously knows how to dress.

11 comments:

  1. Right on! Or if immodest right off!

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  2. Dear Monsignor Eccles (is that right ?). I think, on balance, that women SHOULD be dressed whilst in Church.

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  3. Can I request comment on the other perennial debate - whether or not men should dress for church?

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  4. "How should women dress in church?," you ask. I don't think they should do that at all. I think they ought to arrive already dressed.

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  5. What should men wear to church? Surely a man-tilla.

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  6. Many years ago I remember Philippine Cardinal Sin (yes, that was his name) saying that while distributing the Blessed Sacrament to some women, he didn't know whether to say, "The Body of Christ" or, Christ, the body.

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  7. How should women dress?

    The same way men should dress: with utter charity and refinement toward God and the opposite sex, so as to not place a burden on each other.

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  8. Anything is fine as long as women are wearing the latest fashion in a covid mask.

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    Replies
    1. And I should have added, women should wear clothing in church which helps to flatten the curve.

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  9. P. O'Brien, you are very clever! LOL. Flatten the curves, bumps and bulges!

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  10. I don't know why people should object to the young lady's dress. At least, what there is of it, is white! I've seen a female altar server in much the same confection, strings and all, only in barbie pink and black. But at least she had the sense to don a cassock before Mass.

    And anyway, are these any less respectful than the male server who turns up not wearing his cassock, preferring (reading from the top) T-shirt, tie-dye Bermuda shorts, and trainers?

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