This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday 17 May 2022

England needs a new patron saint.

Dear St George,

Bad news, I'm afraid. In the World Cup of Patron Saints of England you were knocked out in Round 2 (losing to Edward the Confessor and Edmund Campion). Apparently, in the modern world of patron sainting, there is no call for dragon-slaying. However, your martyrdom is much appreciated.

Yours sincerely,
Eccles (saved).

St George

"We were really looking for a multiracial transgender saint."


Anyway, the draw for the quarter-finals (held by Twitter poll) is as follows. The results will be posted here as we get them.

1. John Henry Newman 61.8% v Cuthbert 38.2%.

The old man with the ducks loses out to the young tearaway from Oxford.

2. Bede 38% v Thomas More 62%.

Being venerable was not as popular as being a man for all seasons.

3. Thomas Becket 60.5% v Edmund Campion 39.5%.

The turbulent priest defeats a later martyr.

4. John Fisher 51% v Edward the Confessor 49%.

Only 3 votes in this close contest, but the fisher wins the Fisher-King game.

Margaret Clitherow

Farewell also to Margaret Clitherow, the last female saint to drop out.


SEMI-FINALS.

1. John Henry Newman 36.7% v Thomas Becket 63.3%.

The last non-martyr drops out, although still led by a kindly light.

2. Thomas More 68.7% v John Fisher 31.3%.

The man for all seasons makes it an all-Thomas final.


THIRD PLACE PLAYOFF.

John Henry Newman 41.1% v John Fisher 58.9%.

FISHER takes the bronze!

FINAL.

Thomas Becket 36.2% v Thomas More 63.8%.

BECKET gets the silver medal, and MORE the gold!

Thomas More

2 comments:

  1. Dear Eccles (Saved).

    I demand a Recount !!!

    The omission of Mrs. Trellis (North Wales) is a travesty. Although residing in The Principality, Mrs. Trellis is of good Anglo-Saxon stock and is a woman.

    Nuff said ???

    ReplyDelete
  2. Further to my previous, Eccles (Saved), I must apologise. I was most remiss in omitting the reference to Mrs. Trellis (North Wales). This omission would, of course, confuse anybody living outside Great Britain. To rectify this problem, please find, herewith, the appropriate reference https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GTMKj2eHB28

    ReplyDelete