This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 13 July 2013

QUAERITUR - Should Broad have walked?

Some of our greatest experts in moral theology debate the only issue of any interest this weekend: should Stuart Broad have "walked" - given himself out in the Test Match - when the umpire failed to spot that he was (almost certainly) out?

Broad not walking

QUAERITUR: Howzat?

Richard Dawkins, self-taught expert on everything: The umpire didn't see the catch, but then the umpire isn't everything. Don't some people believe in a so-called "Third Umpire" - a sort of sky fairy - who will be our ultimate Judge? Where was he, eh?

As a moral theologian, I can tell you that - although "not walking" is a survival instinct, often caused by our genes feeling a little selfish - it would have been best for Broad to admit that he was caught out. I personally am never caught out, but would certainly admit it if it ever happened! Meanwhile, I'm supporting Australia now... well, at least until an Aussie player also refuses to "walk"!

Hot Pot

HOT POT - the technology that could have trapped Broad. Made in Lancashire.

Shane Warne, professor of philosophy at the university of Bradman: Come off it, Dawkins you old croc! What Broadie was doing is perfectly normal behaviour in cricket! Our lads would have done the same. Mind you, the Bible says that "Broad is the way that leadeth to destruction" so we're going to have trouble here. As for that umpire, Aleem Dar, a blind wallaby could have done better...

Shane Warne

Prof. Warne.

Tina Beattie, a leading Roe-ham Catholic: Until they allow women to become umpires we must expect errors like this to take place. Broad's main fault here was in accepting the authority of an old man in a silly hat, when he should have rebelled! I would have done so! Incidentally, did you know that I was invited to play in the match at Nottingham, but Bishop McMahon made them cancel the invitation? Dreadful!

Dar

Patriarchal figure in a silly hat.

21 comments:

  1. Oh dear, you forgot to quote Henry Cardinal Blofeld, who some people think is actually G..d. His Eminence noted that the younger ones are so relativistic that they make up decisions as they go along, and are steeped in Situation Ethics. His Eminence also commented that those cricketers of Stuart Broad's generation love pigeons, which shows that their hearts are in the right place, despite fuzzy ethics.

    As to the umpire, His Eminence merely sang a song to show his disapproval of the entire episode, which just was not cricket.

    As to patriachies, His Eminence merely said that there were forty pink shirts in the Australian crowd, and that they looked like dear old things.

    http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/6/6c/Henrycrop2.jpg/359px-Henrycrop2.jpg

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    1. Yup, I could also have quoted St Geoffrey Boycott: "And he said to me: Son of man, dig in" Ezekiel 8:8

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    2. With ADHD I am totally unable to read such long posts - could we shorten them, please.

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  2. oops patriarchies may be misspelled, but no one cares anyway

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  3. Stuart Broad has walked now, thus allowing for more speculation from al involved.

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  4. Hey, you need to keep up with the latest theological discussion, which is whether football should be banned in the summer in order to give more attention to the real summer game. Does Eccles have an opinion on that?

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    1. I fink we has to allow people to observe dere own religoins, even when dey is herettical, sister.

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  5. Sorry one more comment. I do not think the canonization of St. Geoffrey Boycott is infallible. His stubbornness in not walking EVER was not part of the devil's advocate's report, (that person is now St. David Gower)

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  6. Heresy it is and has offshoots http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Iglesia_Maradoniana

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  7. I never walk - lived in America too long

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    1. Cardinals Z and Powell and Pope Weigel would probably hold that only milquetoast commie loser scum would walk - or play a commie limey loser's game like cricket in the first place.

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  8. Try Snooker - It's about the only sport on TV where the player will point out his own foul to the referee!
    Perhaps it's the only One True Sport - All the others are heresies.

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    1. Snooker isn't a sport

      It is a game

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  9. Broad could not walk, walk in the light; walk walk, in the lighy, walk, walk, in the light...walk in the light at Lords.

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  10. I'd have rather called it a tour de force-out!

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  11. I'd have rather called it a tour de force-out!

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  12. Actually, I'd have rather called it a Tour-de-force-out!

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  13. darling eccles, the Broad way is not recommended, but de narrow one is :) xx Jess

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  14. What does Bruvver Eccles think of Novus Ordo cricket ( limited overs ) as opposed to the Usus Antiquor (3 - 5 days)?

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  15. Not being au courant (or something...) with cricket lingo, I just think that all broads should walk...

    ...and not mince.

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  16. It was Character Forming for us; BUT! - we woz robbed, bigtime.
    And my 10-year-old grandson and his mates said it was wrong, and they know more than I do about cricket.

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