Ullo dere Bosco, I hopes you dont mind me reveelin your confiddential meddical records, but I fink it will help peeple to unnderstand your plihgt.
We went to see de physchaitrist Dr Fraud, who looked after Bosco a few weeks ago when we was stayin wiv Damain Thopmson in de Mabeldurrum Home for de Dangerously Loony. Poor Bosco he cant sleep he wakes up in de nihgt cryin "Keep dem cement iddles away from me! De Pope's gonna burn me! Eccles you is reely Hilda! I aint saved!"
Dr Fraud says dere is nuffin to worry about Bosco... he will write to de Pope pussonally to ask him not to burn you, and also dat Jessus phoned him up to say you is probbably saved too, but keep writtin your luvly blogg to be absolutley certtain of Salivation, all de folks in Heaven is waitin for de next installmeant. We can't do much about Bosco's bad dreams about cement iddles, but Dr Fraud he gonna double de dose of Fruitcakol, de meddicine for dem wots got severe halluccinations.
We asked Dr Fraud if he wanted to keep Bosco in for obbservation, and he started foammin at de mouf and hittin his own head against de wall, I fink dat means not just now.
Meanwhile, dey is startin to do some converssions to de Calumny Chappel, so dat we can have a larger torcher chamber in de bassement. De workman broke his pickax and asked us "Eccles and Bosco, does you have a pickax to lend me for de converssions?" Bosco he replies, yes, he had been usin one on some Cathlics only other day. He werent sure if dey was converted now, but he had made some major adjusments to deir faces.
Bosco, dere bruvver, if you is feelin a little better now, has you got any oppinions on dis Cathlic iddle? Why is it standin by a grabage bin?