This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 27 November 2011

Lattin Masses

Farver Arfur, de preist and good stand-in, was told he had to do a Lattin Mass. Aparrently de Pop says dat Lattin is a very important langauge (dey speaks it in Lattin Americca), and if some pest wants a mass in Lattin (de Extroardinary Form), den he has gotta givvem one.

Farver Arfur werent too keen on dis, as he dont speak no Lattin, just a few words like "Mundabor", "Bellator", "Hamish Redux", "Sede vacante", "mmmmmmmmmmmcclxiii" and "Benedicata". Dis don't seem to be enuff to keep de conservation goin for a whole mass. So we gottim a book, which mihgt be usefull.

Lattin for Arfur

But he weren't gratefull, he said "At 9 p.m. yesterday you said dat I was a dummy. Accordin to de Cattechisms of de Churhc dis is a sin known as Subtractoin, and you has gotta walk to Rome on your knees to attone." We remindded him dat Bosco and me is saved poeple, not Cathlics, and dat Jessus gave us a Get Out of Hell Free Card. Bosco keeps it in his wallet wiv his Sister Whippie Club card.

Anti Moly decidded dat we wuold all go and cheer on Farver Arfur, and she put on a specail costtume from Bibblical times, to enter into de spirrit of fings.

Anti Moly again

Bosco and me found a Lattin prayer in a book, and we said to Farver Arfur, "Why doesnt you say dis one, Arfur, its very traditoinal for costume holly men to say it in churhc."

Caesar adsum jam forte,
Pompey aderat:
Caesar sic in omnibus,
Pompey sic in at.

Farver Arfur werent convinced, but we told im dat it meant "O Lord have mercy on dese horrible poeple in de churhc. I dont know why I bovvers wiv such rabble frankly, so I wont be surprised if you doesnt neither," and he said dat was de sort of prayer he reely likes.

Farver Arfur refused to wear de ussual Lattin cosstume holly man vestments, but bein a humble man, he did wear L plates to show dat he was just a begginner.

Preist wiv L plates

De Mass went OK I fink, but I didnt reely follow it. What my bruvver Bosco says is, dat since de King James Bibble was written in Engglish, why did dis Vullgate chap translate it into Lattin? Dere aint no anwser to dat, is dere?

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