This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday, 12 November 2011

Bosco asks to be bitten

I asked my dere bruvver Bosco wot I shuold blogg on, as fings is a little quiet rihgt now, and he said "Blog this Eccles......BITE ME" (I is copyin his words verbattim).

It is a well known fact dat Bosco is gettin more acetic these days. He made some unsucessful attempts to morttify de flesh by consultin a dame who knows about whippin (see an earlier blogg), but all he ended up wiv was a year's supply of Sister Whippy's milky puddin. We is still eatin de horrid stuff.

Now Bosco is takin dis mortifyin de flesh fing more seriuosly, and when I asked him how I cuold help my luvvin bruvver, he said "BITE ME". Well, pussonally I doesnt go ruond bitin poeple, I leaves dat to de foobtall players, so I asked Anti Moly what to do, and she said "I'll bite im, de stupid clown." I wants to save Anti Moly and I don't fink saved poeple goes aruond biting dere nehpews, so we compromissed. I borrowed her spare pear of flase teef and left dem on Bosco's chair.

Moly's teef

Bosco sat down on de teef and arose from his chair sayin "Fank you, Eccles, I is feelin much more spirritaul now." Sometimes I does fings dat reely please him.

De next idea I had was based on a little known probblem dat Anti Moly has wiv her hare. If she doesnt wash it in a good danndruf shammpoo she comes out in snakes (de doctor said it was called de Medussa synndrome). Dis is what she looked like last time she had dis hare conddition.

Anti Moly wiv long hare

So I fuoght dat Anti Moly cuold let her hare grow and de snakes cuold bite Bosco, thus puriffyin his suol. But she refussed to do it, sayin it was too much trubble.

We rejeccted de idea of askin Anti's dog Cerberrus to bite Bosco, as last time it caught a nasty illness and had to go and see 3 vets. Also his girlfiend Camila Van Pyre aint on bitin terms wiv Bosco rihgt now, since she fuond out dat he is also chasin a dame called Hilda.

De probblem was solved in an unexpected way. Bosco was out in de fields dis evenin followin labms when a wolf turned up and bit him.

Bosco de wolfman

As you see if you looks carefully at my pitcher, Bosco has changed his appearrance. Maybe dis is God's way of showin him dat he is trully saved. What is strange is dat Bosco keeps goin outside to howl at de moon - or maybe he is singin a hynm dat goes "YOWWWW!" I cant find dat one in de Calumny Chappel Book of Hynms for Saved Poeple, maybe it is a Bapptist hynm.

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