This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Thursday, 13 December 2012

Eccles's hair salon

Following the news that Paul Barber has been appointed Director of the Catholic Education Service, we discussed the matter with some unsuccessful candidates for the job.

Barber

Monty P. Barber.

"It's clear that there was some mistake in Paul Barber's appointment, and they intended to appoint a totally different barber, one who wouldn't implement a cut in standards. Cuts! Blood! Wounds! Aaagh... After his disastrous behaviour as governor of the Cardinal Vaughan school, this new man's actions are likely to lead to a lot of bad blood with parents. Blood! Sever! Psycho! Aaagh... I'd make a much better director, but now I'm thinking of diversifying into the lumberjack business."

Barber

Sweeney Todd.

"I could see at the job interview that things were going badly for me. I somehow thought that in the cut-throat world of Catholic education Vincent Nichols might want someone who was not afraid to murder parents and get them made into pies. He could have appointed me."

Oona

Ted Kaczynski, alias Oona Bomber.

"I am a registered 'domestic terrorist,' only too keen to do my bit towards destroying schools and homes. I offered my services to Vincent Nichols, but for some reason I wasn't even shortlisted."

Eccles toon

Eccleston Square. Lasciate ogne speranza, voi ch'intrate!

5 comments:

  1. Good idea waiter, I'll have the Lasciate ogne speranza with a side salad and a glass of Amarone della Valpolicella. Do you have any Tyrolean troll tarts?

    ReplyDelete
  2. And another thing. I expect a very good blog from you next week in your hymn series entitled, "The Grate O Antiphons: wot's so grate about them?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll start wiv somefink simpler like "The Grate Anti Molys."

      Delete
  3. Why not Chris Barber and The Big Chris Barber Band? They would have been able to educate al the good Catholics of England and Wales in how to sing at Mass.

    ReplyDelete