This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 29 June 2014

The Cormac wakes

Below the thunders of the upper deep,
Far far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Cormac sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides: above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumbered and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages and will lie
Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by men and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.
These words of Alfred, Lord Tennyson, came to mind this week as we saw the fabulous Cormac rise to the surface with a letter to the effect that the law was doing little to protect religious liberties.


Cardinal Cormac Murphy-O'Connor takes charge.

Yes, after a fifteen-year sleep, in which it lay deep in its Westminster grot, and let the world go to the Devil without doing a great deal to stop it, the Cormac has arisen! And it's angry!

For the Cormac has noticed that Catholic adoption agencies have been forced to close, and that bed-and-breakfast owners are being coerced into hosting activities which are unequivocally condemned by their religion! And it has written to the Telegraph about it!


Disgusted of Chiswick.

In this, it is simply following in the steps of our Lord, who once wrote to the Jerusalem Telegraph in these tones:

Dear Sir,
I have recently noticed that the Temple of Jerusalem is being used for money-changing, as well as the selling of sheep, oxen and pigeons. It really is appalling! What a generation of vipers we see around us these days!

Yours sincerely,
Jesus Bar-Joseph.

cleansing of temple

It really is appalling!

Of course, the Cormac is not without influence. Ten years ago it took umbrage at the controversial journalism of Damian Thompson at the Telegraph, and wished to see him enter a voluntary period of prayer and reflection (© +Lancaster). And lo! a miracle occurred, and the Dame is now exiled to the Spectator!

With the Cormac arisen from the depths, what other fabulous creatures remain there in a deep sleep? Will we see the legendary Vin (Cardinalis Nichols) rise from its slumber? Today would be a good opportunity for it to condemn London Pride marches...

London pride

Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.

Some commentators claim that there is a whole school of fabulous sea creatures keeping their heads down, and refusing to take a moral lead. We have even heard them described as the Catholic Fish-shops of England and Wales, although this may be a mishearing.


  1. London Pride has been handed down to us.
    London Pride is a flower that's free.

  2. wasn't it more of a misherring?

  3. Ïa! Ïa! Shub-Cormacath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Empty Parishes!

    It lumbered slobberingly into sight and gropingly squeezed Its gelatinous green immensity through the black doorway into the tainted outside air of that poison city of madness. … The Thing cannot be described—there is no language for such abysms of shrieking and immemorial lunacy, such eldritch contradictions of all matter, force, and cosmic order.

    Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh Wst'mnstr'nagl fhtagn.

    --- from The Call of Cormac, H.P. Lovecraft

  4. Dear Sir,

    You are at your most objectionable when rubbishing our fine catholic bishops and Cardinal Connor Cormac O'Murphy is well known to all of us. He has often been unfairly criticized but in his defence he has said the decisions he made when a bishop were not irresponsible and that there was a genuine ignorance among the bishops at that time. We can see this is still the case today, and that supports his defence, so why single him out?

    Yours speechless in amazement,
    Ferdinand Mass-Trousers,
    Tunbridge Wells ACTA Caliphate