This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 22 February 2015

Don't forget to say your Rosica!

The Rosary is old hat! From now on Catholics are encouraged to say the Rosica, a new sequence of prayers involving meditations on the Mysteries of the Rosica interspersed with cries of "Where's my lawyer?" "I'll sue!" and "I DEMAND an apology!"

Groucho Marx in court

Did you or did you not describe Fr Rosica as a "silly old buzzard"?

Named after Fr Thomas Rosica, of the Sue and Litigate Salt and Delight media network, whose response to criticism on the Vox Cantoris blog was to run to his lawyers and threaten legal action, the Rosica draws on some little-known sayings of Jesus from the Sermon on the Mount, including the following:

Matthew 5:11. Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. For ye can get in touch with your lawyers, and SUE THE PANTS OFF THEM!

no pants

We've been sued by Fr Rosica!

Matthew 5:20. For I say unto you, That except your righteousness shall exceed the righteousness of Fr Rosica, then ye shall in no case enter into the kingdom of Heaven.

Be ye perfect

"Be ye perfect, even as Fr Rosica is perfect." Matthew 5:48

Matthew 5:39. But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also. Thus wilt thou be able to claim DOUBLE DAMAGES.

Pope Francis and Fr Rosica

Pope Francis gives some boxing tips to Fr Rosica.

For more on the mysteries of the Blessed Rosica, we recommend the blog of Brother Lapin.

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2 comments:

  1. Nicolas Bellord22 February 2015 at 20:48

    At last! The Church is apologising to us lawyers for all the rotten things that were said about us e.g. "Woe to you lawyers also! For you load people with burdens hard to bear, and you yourselves do not touch the burdens with one of your fingers" and much other discriminatory hate speech. The plan is to compensate us all by employing us. The question arises as to whether there will be enough lawyers to go round. Now for a small fee I can train anyone who wants to sign up for this gravy train to be a lawyer in less that 24 hours.

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  2. JabbaPapa24 February 2015 at 22:28

    I can remember when Adam made a lawsuit against his wife, but ended up being thrown out of Court by his Judge.

    The Cain and Abel lawsuit also springs to mind, when Cain lashed out against Abel for being too traddy with his lambs in his worship before the Presence of the Lord.

    But who am I to judge ?

    I'm sure that it would be far more appropriate if God were to condemn Abel to a cash payout for daring to let his blood cry out against the reputation of his brother !!!

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