This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 16 February 2020

The Book of St Richard, Chapter 27

Continued from Chapter 26.

1. So Richard continued to grow in years, if not in wisdom.

2. And he spake out, saying, "Let us consider eugenics, dearly beloved. It worketh for cows, horses, pigs, dogs and roses. Would it not work for humans?"

3. For Richard was dreaming of a Master Race of biologists, wise in the ways of the selfish gene.

4. Such people would naturally become experts in religion without needing to study it.

5. They would know how to deal with mighty theocracies by sending them lewd images, such as are known as the no-graphy of the poor.

6. They would be as fertile as the cow, as swift as the horse, as plump as the pig, as fearsome as the dog, and as fragrant as the rose.

Dawkins and honey

"The Master Race shall feed on the finest honey if they can't get human flesh."

7. However, the people mocked him, saying, "Richard, by thy wibblings thou hast done wondrous things for the cause of the Lord God, but thy praise for eugenics shows thee to be as mad as the hatters of Wonderland."

8. However, Richard was undismayed, for he had recently written another book, designed for young people, and entitled "Outgrowing God."

9. For the publishers had said, "The children have had their brains washed with the word of the Lord, and it time for us to wash their brains with the word of the prophet Richard."

10. However, the children were unconvinced by the word of Richard, saying "Look, we may be only four years old, but even we can see that the ontological hypotheses underlying his Kantian rejection of the Almighty do not hold water."

kids reading

"Hey! The God Delusion is even sillier!

11. However, Richard was undismayed, for the book was a bestseller, being Number Twelve Score and Five in the Times List of Barking Mad Books by Dotty Professors.

12. And so the long spiritual journey of Richard continued towards its very distant end.

To be continued.

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