Similarly, a broken leg doesn't require extensive bandaging - a skilled homeopath can cure it with a small sticking plaster (indeed, applying it for five seconds and then removing it should be enough).
You poor man - let's get these bandages off and cure you homeopathically.
And now the principles of homeopathy are being applied to religion. Compare and contrast the old and the new regimes:
Old: Love God, love your neighbour as yourself, prayer, fasting, Mass attendance, charitable actions, regular reading of this blog.
New: Generally stay indifferent to God, ignore your neighbour, say "O God" in times of trouble, refuse that fifth helping of treacle pudding in Lent, ...
Fasting - in Lent do not eat more than four of these at a time.
... wave at the church as you drive past on the way to Tesco's, put your old hole-ridden socks in one of those charity bags that people push through your letter-box, use the Tablet to line the cat's litter tray.
Who's been leaving **** in my litter tray?
We spoke to one of the leading exponents of homeopathic Catholicism, jolly "Enda Life" Kenny. He explained to us that, despite his antipathy towards unborn babies, he remains a staunch Catholic. On the principle that a little goes a long way, Enda is going to feed on minute, diluted quantities of Catholic doctrine - if he can find something easily digestible that will not get in the way of his more important diet of secularism.
"Yes, I'm having a hot dog for lunch," says Enda.
Well, there you have it. As homeopathic medicine is cheap and relies on the "placebo" effect, we see that homeopathic religion, relying on the "Please yourself" effect, requires no difficult commitments; it can be practised in such a way that nobody even notices that it is going on.
The homeopathic road to Salvation.




