This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Thursday, 21 June 2012

Damain is taken into care

I has not been bloggin much recently, and I entrusted de spiritaul nuorishment of my readers to some geust bloggers. Dis is cos after my Anti Moly was put into a care home, I was free, so I decidded to take a holliday. In fact I went to Sevile in Spain, cos my hair was gettin long and I had heard dat dey has good barbers in Sevile.

hairdresser of Seville

De hairdresser of Sevile

In de end de haircut wasn't great, but I buoght a new wig as a present for Damain Thopmson, and a jumbo-sized bottle of hair-restorrer for my dear Anti Moly, who is always so thirsty.

I also got appraoched by a woman called Carman wot works in a cigarete factory, but bein a saved pusson I resisted her charms and came back to London.

When I got back to Castle Thopmson de butler, Will Heaven, had shockin news for me. "Dr Thopmson is not at home," he said. "He has been taken into care."

Heaven explained to me dat Damain had been taken to St Cristina's Home for de Dangerously Addicted. After his luvvly book was published, he decided to devote all his time to pluggin it, and was unabble to stop goin on abuot it.

The Fix The Fix

Suovenirs of DE FIX

All Damain's recent activities have been tailored towards making people aware of DE FIX, and he has filled his home wiv suovenirs rellated to DE FIX.

The Fix The Fix

More suovenirs of DE FIX

Luckily Hannan de chuaffeur was avialable (sometimes he is away wiv his part-time job in Brusells, which involves makin speeches to empty rooms), and he drove me to St Cristina's.

Poor Damian

Poor sick Damain

"Eccles," said Damain to me, "you is a loyal follower of my blogg. I was finkin dis weekend of writin a Saturday colunm about De Fix, Joanne Hairy, addictoin to medicine, De Fix, De Ordinariate, recent books by Tellegrahp bloggers, De Fix, and addictoin to cupcakes. Do you fink dat's a good idea? Maybe I could add somefink about addictoin to computters too. Dat way I cuold secretly plugg De Fix and noboddy wuold notice."

Well, dat seemed OK to me, but I was very worried by Damain's terrible addictoins. Some schoolgirls had bruoght him a get well soon present, you see.


Cupcakes for Damain

We will have to see what we can do to "fix" our dear Damain.

I must remember to blogg about my Anti Moly some time. She got into bad truoble for nude sunbathin, so she is still in custardy.

Anti Moly

Anti Moly sunbathin

I has blotted out de rude bits, cos we saved pussons doesnt put pronography on our bloggs. But it reely is a woeful situatoin.


  1. Good to see you back, darling eccles - tho' your secretary did a splendid job in your absence; a shame you can't lend him to damain.

    I was watching a film about a ship which died of shame and wondering if that was wot killed the damain blogg?

    There's a lost sole on the blog now, perhaps he needs a 'fix'? xx Jess

    1. Ullo Jessicca, is dat de film where de ship transports sinister cargoes like cupcakes, cannabies and den finally prongraphic phottos of Anti Moly?

    2. That's it, darling Eccles - and in the end they all lives unhappily ever after, as it is written in the book of St. Richard of of the shellfish jeans.

  2. Is he being treated for Droog abuse?

  3. I say, old chap, are your fans aware of this wonderful address:

    If one puts it into one's favourite RSS reader, one gets updated whenever a comment is left on your site!

    I use it all the time on my Google Desktop!

    Pip Pip!

  4. As a fateful follower of your luvvly blogue, I was surprised to be confronted by a nude photograph of your anti Moly. It took me a while to imagine the rude bits, but they were truly horrible. Can we please have a warning in future, before we scroll down to this kind of offendering material? It will help some readers avoid further brain damage.

    1. Dont worry Mr Gumbey I was shocked as well, and we is doin our best to make sure she keeps her cloths on. Singed, Eccles (saved).

  5. This comment has been removed by the author.

  6. Thank you "kindly" Eccles, for "removing" those "puzzling" obstacles to "comment-making".