1. When Richard Dawkins appeared on Mastermind, his special subject was:
(c) Dr Who assistants;
2. The title of Damian Thompson's new book is:
(a) The Fox;
(b) The Fax;
(c) The Fecks;
(d) The Fix.
3. Which of the following is not a Catholic in good standing?
(a) Tina Beattie;
(b) Sr Margaret Farley;
(c) Hans Küng;
(d) All of them.
4. Vincent Nichols prays nightly for:
(a) red shoes like the Pope has;
(b) a red hat like Cormac Murphy-O'Connor has;
(c) a red revolution;
(d) a red-shirted football team.
5. Which addiction is NOT mentioned in Damian Thompson's latest book?
(c) hair restorer;
(d) the Internet.
6. Which Telegraph blogger is this?
(a) Nasty Norman Tebbit;
(b) Cheeky Tom Chivers;
(c) Magnificent Mary Riddell;
(d) Dashing Damian Thompson.
7. Sr Margaret Farley's next book will be called:
(a) More abortions, please! A Catholic looks at pregnancy.
(b) Did we misjudge King Herod? The Massacre of the Innocents reappraised.
(c) Go and sin some more: a new look at good and evil.
(d) Why the Pope is not saved, but I am.
8. Polly Toynbee's real name is:
(a) Polly Technic;
(b) Beelzebub Toynbee;
(c) Mary Louisa Toynbee;
(d) Polyphema, Gran Signora de Toscana.
9. John Sentamu will not be the next Archbishop of Canterbury because:
(a) he has rather traditional beliefs;
(b) he's, well, er, slightly dark-skinned;
(c) he's got some front teeth missing;
(d) his dress sense is, well, er...
10. Damian Thompson's next book will be:
(a) Gladys Mills, the official biography;
(b) How I learned to love the Magic Circle;
(c) Celebrities and their hairstyles;
(d) 1,000,000 essential CDs.
11. What is the solution to the "Vatileaks" mystery?
(a) The butler did it.
(b) The Pope did it.
(c) The Reverend Green in the chapel with the lead piping.
(d) Father Brown will tell us.
12. What does this picture show?
(a) a rather plain woman bishop in the Church of Scotland;
(b) a licensed killer about to finish off the notorious Rosa Klebb;
(c) a typical resident of the Bahamas;
(d) an entrant for the "wrestling the old lady" event in the Highland Games.