This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Saturday 12 September 2015

Bill "killed off too soon"

Supporters of the Assisted Suicide Bill reacted angrily to the news that it had been killed off prematurely in a House of Commons vote (330 votes to 118).

Rob Marris, the proposer of the bill, commented, "I know that the bill was very sick, and was going to die anyway; it probably had less than six months to live. But it is really shameful to see people deliberately killing it off, rather than letting it die naturally, as Lord Falconer's bill was allowed to. If I'm in the House of Commons for one purpose, it is to protect the weak and vulnerable - and I don't just mean the Labour Party."

undertakers

Undertakers - expecting extra business but now to be disappointed.

Apparently, many of the opponents of the Bump-em-Off bill were people of a religious tendency - which of course means that their views are totally invalid, and they should not really have been allowed to vote. On the other hand, those who actually wanted the Death-Blood-Cut-Psycho bill were mostly an alliance of actors, second-rate comedians, and other celebrities - in short, the modern opinion-formers.

Lee Hurst

Lee Hurst - will his comic career be allowed to die naturally?

It is believed that a "compromise" bill may soon be introduced, allowing doctors to help people who wish to self-harm but not kill themselves. Thus, if you feel an urgent need to gnaw your own arm off after watching David Baddiel, you will be able to go to a doctor's surgery and the doctor will gnaw if off for you. It is not clear whether this is against anyone's religious principles.

9 comments:

  1. Far be it from me to celebrate a death, and I fear that this is only a postponement - they'll be back - but I greeted this outcome with relief. Why? I'm a bit disabled myself, and also a bit long in the tooth, now, and I don't want some twenty-five-year-old doctor, never been sick a day in his/her life, passing judgement on my quality of life (as the weasel-word expression has it) and deciding for me that I'd be better off dead.

    PS, I note that the Murdoch Press was all for this Bill. Wonder what Rupe would say if the termination team came after him - he's crumbling a bit round the edges himself.

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  2. Overjoyed as one of those unproductive sick people we're always being warned about. But they'll be back. It's a 'Right' you know. These 'Rights' only attach to the person shouting about them. There really is 'no society' with these selfish unspeakable people.

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  3. Was our Polly Toynbee silent? She must be making a bit from her rent a quote. Time she was euthanised.

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  4. Please send my relief for Bill and his friend to their respective flowerpots.

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  5. Very witty and to the point as usual. However Charlesdawson is right... we've only seen them off at the pass....and they will be back. Keep praying!
    maryclare

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  6. Bruvver Eccles, you've excelled yourself with this one. Love it! Especially "an alliance of actors, second rate comedians and celebrities".

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  7. As I understand things, your Labour Party, (as opposed to our Labor Party) has elected someone called Jeremy Corbyn as its leader and that htis move is an attempt to kill off your Labour Party, (as opposed to our Labor Party).
    Mind you, our Labor Party has as its leader a man called Bill Shorten, a former Union Leader who has already been found to have received $40,000 in bribes when he was working for the Union. Some of us here are hoping that the Royal Commission into Union bribery and Corruption will bring about the demise of Bill Shorten.

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  8. Of course it will be back ... this rising from the dead has been done before y'know.
    Saint Corbyn is trying to breath new life into the Labour Party, perhaps he'll do a Lazarus on the Bill.

    PS I shall be plagiarising, "an alliance of actors, second-rate comedians, and other celebrities - in short, the modern opinion-formers." .......Nice!

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  9. 330 to 118 is a very high rate of abstention or absenteeism. But never mind. Onwards to better palliative care, and to disability equality.

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