This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Sunday, 11 October 2015

A guide to Britain, part 2

Continued from Part 1.

In the first part of this "Guide for foreigners", we introduced various mostly well-known religious figures such as Queen Elizabeth and Richard Dawkins. This time we are focusing on three slightly less well-known people, who are nevertheless a regular source of entertainment and possible spiritual nourishment.

To put them in context, I decided to pair them with well-known Biblical characters that have clearly inspired them.

St Paul and Gollum

Dr Giles Fraser (L) and St Paul (R)

As well as being something of a Gollum lookalike, St Paul was a controversial figure, who upset many more traditional Christians with his radical views. His regular articles, entitled "Epistle to the Guardianistas" were full of unconventional teaching supporting same-sex "marriage". He was also known to think a deep thought once a day, and so his "Thought for the Day" was broadcast throughout 1st Century Judaea. Apart from being a full-time socialist, he was also regarded as a part-time religious figure.

Beattie and Mary

The Blessed Virgin Mary (L) and Prof. Tina Beattie (R)

It is an established fact that Mary rejected the male-dominated hegemony of the early Church. "My Son was a celibate male, and so He got things off on the wrong foot straight away," she regularly complained. Mary was a very learned woman, directing the Institute for Religion, Society and Human Flourishing [or "having a good time"] at the University of Galilee. Unfortunately her extreme views meant that several bishops refused to have anything to do with her, although she maintained all her life that she was a Catholic.

King David and Terry-Thomas

Paul Inwood (L) and King David (R)

King David is mainly remembered as a lyricist, providing the words and music to the memorable psalms "Alleluia Ch-Ch" and "Prepare the way of the Lord, Moo-oo-oo, Moo-oo-oo". His music sold many copies in dioceses along the south coast, and can still be found in some hymn books. He bitterly resented re-translations of the traditional liturgy. It is said that David danced before the Lord wearing a linen ephod: no wonder Nathan the prophet was sent to tell him of God's extreme wrath.

liturgical dance

The latest in linen ephods.


  1. Paula N Wood wrote some lovely songs for this series - "My Linen Music" (for ephod ceremonials); 'Cremate in Me" an early celtic funeral song; "The PeTINAtential Right" (women deaconess liturgy); "The Golluming Song" and the well-known Cricket Mass introit "With These Ashes".

  2. One couldn't make it up, could one !!!

  3. Those prancing women look like they're conjuring up spirits to cast a spell . . .

  4. Perhaps de Lefty Dishonourable Corbyn could profitt from dis luvvly blogg ?

  5. This is the best Guide to Britain ever. After this, we'll never get lost.

  6. Me is almost certain that the pics in your second and third paragraphs are actually of Maureen Lipman and Terry Thomas but at least you got the picture right for Giles Fraser.

    One out of three ain't bad. In fact,nowadays it's probably an A*.

  7. The main difference between ER1 and Richard Dawkins was she didn't have a wheelchair or wear genes. I did comment on this in Part 1 but was ignored.

    I think you may have confused Nathan the Prophet with Saint Corbyn; understandable as both had multi-choice prophecies