This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Thursday, 31 May 2018

Irish people plan a mass suicide pact

Following the result of the referendum on abortion, and the decision by Irish politicians to press for euthanasia next ("anything to annoy the Catholic Church"), many Irish people feel that they should now go the whole way - instead of merely exterminating the very young and very old, why not wipe out the entire population?

Ireland, empty

Ireland as it will look: empty.

Archbishop Diarmuid Martin of Dublin has already given his backing to this mass suicide pact, explaining that "It is surely God's will to return Ireland to the state it was in when He created it - empty. Or, if it wasn't, don't expect me to speak out until after we've all been killed!"

The actual mechanism of the mass extermination of the Irish people is still to be decided. Historically, potato famines were very popular, but nowadays the only consequence of a potato famine would be that the Irish would no longer have to put up with that arch-bore Gary Lineker advertising his unhealthy snacks. Still, that alone makes this seem like a good idea.

Repulsive man eating crisps

Enough to make you yearn for another potato famine.

Clearly some more systematic way for the Irish to destroy themselves is required. Prime Minister Varadkar has organized a survey asking people which groups they would like to see exterminated first, and the following sections of the population were particularly disliked:

children, adults, the young, the old, the middle-aged, the religious, the non-religious, the whites, the blacks, the other races, tinkers, tailors, soldiers, sailors, rich men, poor men, beggarmen, thieves, fathers, mothers, males, females, people of undecided or indescribable sex/gender, tourists, local residents, hairy people, bald people, heterosexuals, homosexuals, anything else-sexuals, people called "Martin", people not called "Martin", the employed, the unemployed, the sick, the healthy, ...

For each of these groups it is possible to find someone who dislikes them, so into the suicide booths they go!

Ah yes, the suicide booths. Well they will look like this:


New-look suicide booth (no longer required for its original purpose).

There have already been some comments from devoutly religious British politicians on the MIDA ("Make Ireland Dead Again") plan. Theresa May thinks it's a wonderful idea, but Jacob Rees-Mogg doesn't. Still, if MIDA is a success, then the United Kingdom is certain to follow suit.

Administrative note: for the last 5 days I have not received e-mail notifications about comments posted on this luvvly blogg. So I have only just realised there was a backlog. Sorry.


  1. It won't stay empty for long. Plenty of "refugees" willing to procreate and keep their unborn alive will be happy to take over...

  2. I'm Irish. I'm a young Catholic man in my 20s. I voted no with pride. Since then I have been disgusted with my country. I fear for the future. Do not write all Irish people off. Pray for us

    1. You're new to the evil "Womens' Right to Kill-Off-the-Kidz Before They're Born Laws" -- we in UK have been at it for years. We've murdered hundreds of thousands of the poor little mites. They call it Healthcare -- but abortion's not too healthy for the little corpses, 'though, is it? We'd better pray for the souls of all the little lost children, their unfortunate mothers AND for both our countries -- and all the others who're doing the same disgusting work of Satan.

    2. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. It is going to be difficult to keep the faith and your values but I promise you, you will know peace of mind and in the long run it will be the best decision you have ever made. May God bless you always.

  3. I once wanted to live in Clifden, Ireland in a thatched stone cottage by a lake and raise Connemara ponies. But no more. I prefer a Catholic country - Ecuador maybe, or Guatemala if the myriad evangelical missionaries haven't already converted all the Catholics.

    Ireland might be empty of the Irish in the future, but not empty of people altogether. Islam will move in and turn the Catholic Churches to mosques. I'm sure they will come up with the myth that St Patrick was a Muslim just as they said Jesus was.

  4. God bless you, Paddy & God bless Ireland, land of my ancestors. I fear with the way things are going there now, that you might want to move to the USA. It looks as if Europe is being taken over by muslim invaders. Pathetically, in the UK, the UK citizens are not allowed to say anything negative about it or be jailed. Canon212 site for Catholic & world news has lots of articles about what’s really going on in Europe. Sadly, most of today’s media sources cover up the invasion, even though there are terrorist attacks, rapes, and countless crimes being carried out by the invaders.

  5. I am so happy to read Paddy J S's comment. I never thought that the whole of Ireland had gone anti-Catholic but I did have my suspicions. I have not been there for many years but it was a country that I loved. I was married there, in Cork and I used to take my family over there for the Summer holidays. However I have had my suspicions about the standard of Religious education there for a very long time.

  6. A big market for doggy clothes will soon emerge, and a demand for bumper stickers that say "I love my grand dogs." Stupid is as stupid does.

  7. Just FYI on my comment above - When Catholic Rafael Correa (who went to Mass with his family every Sunday) was Pres of Ecuador he fought the feminists tooth and nail against abortion saying that as long as he was President there would be no killing of Ecuadorian children. He told his parliament that if they passed abortion he would quit on the spot.

    After his term was up he went to Belgium with his family since his wife was from Brussels. They both were to teach at the Louvain...he has a Masters in Economics from the Louvain...which is where he met his wife when they were both students. Not sure how they are liking Belgium now that it is inundated with Islam, but anytime Correa wants to become a film star, he would be the handsomest leading man ever....except he's too intelligent to be that vain.

    The point is, in Ecuador one see young parents with many children. Children are everywhere. It's so...well, Catholic. Please don't think that they are all poor indigenous Indians. There are many, yes, but most are highly educated Catholics. Also, in Quito there are about 100 Muslims. In all of Ecuador's 17,000,000 people, there are only about 2,000 Muslims.

  8. Jonathan Swift would be so proud.