This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 27 August 2018

The World Meeting of Comedians is a great success

H. E. Cardinal Blase Cupich, Bishop Peter Doyle, H.E. Cardinal Kevin Farrell, H.E. Cardinal Oscar Andres Rodriquez Maradiaga, Fr James Martin S.J., H.E. Cardinal Vincent Nichols, H.E. Cardinal Christoph Schönborn, H.E. Cardinal Luis Antonio Tagle, H.E. Cardinal Joseph Tobin, ... admit it, you're in stitches already at the thought of so many great comics present in one place at one time.

Regular fans will already be giggling and reciting these comedians' catch-phrases, such as "Nighty-night, baby!" or "Funds are not transferred in my name, but in the name of the archdiocese," or even, "I knew nothing of what McCarrick was doing!" and "Building a bridge!" The land that gave us Father Ted, a comedy about dysfunctional priests, was the perfect place to host its sequel, Uncle Ted.


After the Viganò dossier appeared, the emoji was hastily changed.

Of course, it was a great shame that Cardinal Wuerl was unable to come: our stall selling rotten eggs and tomatoes would have done much better business. Still, we were not there to look for profits, or even prophets.

James Martin and customer

"I'm so pleased that you weren't excluded, Father!"

Everything was designed to produce a feast of mirth, but one thing was lacking. We had druidical vestments (very good), but where were the bad hymns? No "Lord of the Dance" or "Shine Jesus, Shine"? Damian Lundy is turning in his grave, as would be Paul Inwood, Dan Schutte, and Bernadette Farrell, if anyone had bothered to bury them.

Cardinal Farrell painting

The Druids of Dublin, by Picasso.

One great mystery remains: why DID Cardinal Farrell use toilet cleaner rather than Holy Water? We asked him, and he replied that he was not there at the time; so what can one do?

Pope Francis was there, of course, hence the emoji we began with. He's having a difficult time at the moment, and we did speculate that, on the flight back, they might choose to drop him off at Elba, near which his aeroplane flew. But no, he made it back to Rome safely, and is now lying low and saying nuffin'. Well, it worked for the Dubia...

black emoji

The next WMOF, Italy 2021, will star Pope Pius XIII (Cardinal Sarah).


  1. Thanks for keeping the work up dear Eccles. My heart is breaking.

  2. What a pity the next pope cannot be another Benedict.

  3. I fear he won't resign as would a man of honour and a true man of God rather than one of hubris posing in a sort of Dickensian ever so 'umble manner. (I really hope I am wrong about the man -- but he has done too much damage since he was elected, surely, what with the persecution of the Franciscans of the Immaculate & the evil results so far from his "Amoris Laetitia", etc., etc.) However we must pray for his conversion from apostasy and return to the Holy Faith.

  4. AND see Fr Hunwicke's comments on this matter (& others related) in his blog (Liturgical Notes) today -- and previously.

  5. If Francis reminds me of any comedian, it's got to be Jimmy Cricket as he could easily adopt the latter's catchphrase - "C'mere, there's more!" (apart from on flights from Dublin to Rome of course and maybe all future flights when narstie questions are disrespectfully posed).

    In other news, I see that one of Jimmy Cricket's sons, Francis, who in his own comedy career adopted the stage name Frankie Doodle, has since become a priest. I'll say no more.

  6. I was recently fantasizing Cardinal Sarah's election to the Chair. I named him Pope Pius XIII.

  7. As PF was making his final address, little chunks of his face seemed to fall off. A black scaly reptiloid with yellow eyes was revealed, with a little forked tongue flicking at us. We ran in horror, but the Crowd for Hire folks laughed and waved their little papal flags. Great comedy it was. Erin go bragh.!


  8. The best was last, it gave hope: "The next WMOF, Italy 2021, will star Pope Pius XIII (Cardinal Sarah)." However, I do trust that Robert, Cardinal Sarah, will ascend to the pontificate long before then - OR I'm going East! They haven't wreck-o-vated their churches OR "modernised" their Liturgy. Dangerous place for our immortal souls, that "Spirit" of Vat Two and Dictator Bergoglio's sort-of Catholic Church.