This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles
Saturday, 19 June 2021
Catholic bishops slammed for being Catholic
Americans were up in arms today on learning that their Catholic bishops had voted by 168 to 55 to produce a document
explaining Catholic teaching on the Eucharist. Provisionally entitled Ad Nodum Josephe ("Get knotted, Joe!")
the encyclical will reveal the surprising news that killing babies is wrong, and people guilty of mortal sin should really do something about
it before rushing up to receive Communion.
Joe Biden slopes out in disgrace.
Said one ally of the president: "I thought the Catholic Church was a wholly-owned subsidiary of the
Democratic party. Having seen such top theologians as Fr James Martin and Cardinal Wilton Gregory campaigning
against the Bad Orange Man, I naturally assumed that the bishops would do exactly what Top Catholic Henry VIII
President Biden wished."
We have not yet seen the names of the 55 bishops who voted against publishing Catholic teaching, but it seems
that Soapy Blase and Nighty-night Tobin have already spoken out against "weaponising the Eucharist", which
is a Democrat way of saying "reminding people of New Testament teaching".
A brave warrior gets 15 minutes of fame by explaining that he doesn't understand Catholicism.
BREAKING: Apparently, the bishops' decision has been reversed, after 200 more votes came in overnight,
all backing Biden. Some people have noted that they are all in the names of people who are either
dead (Archbishop Jesse James, Bishop "Doc" Holliday) or completely non-existent (the Bishop of Wounded Toe,
The Bishop of OK Corral). However, all votes count, and it seems that the USCCB can go back
to being agnostic after all.
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The politicisation of the Eucharist is a simply marvellous idea. Where will it go next? Priests denying communion to Republicans who support the death penalty? This will run and run. Communio? Hilario! Congrats USCCB. Let's aim for maximum division. Meanwhile, most of the world's Catholics live in poverty. Or shouldn't we mention that, as it's not political enough?
ReplyDeleteFrereRabit, yo are excommicated...
DeleteIf any one shall say, that faith alone is a sufficient preparation for receiving the sacrament of the most holy Eucharist; let him be anathema. And, lest so great a sacrament should be received unworthily, and so unto death and condemnation, this holy synod ordains and declares, that sacramental confession, when a confessor is to be obtained, is of necessity to be made beforehand, by those whom the conscience of deadly sin burthens, how contrite even soever they may deem themselves. But if any one shall presume to teach, preach, or obstinately assert, or even by publicly disputing, defend the contrary, he shall be by the very act excommunicated. Canons and Decrees of the Council of Trent (1851)SESSION THE THIRTEENTH, Canon 11.
Your ignorance is beyond the pale. "Politicization (learn to spell)of the Eucharist"; "support the death penalty"? Go educate yourself so you can avoid making a total ass out of yourself in public forum.
DeleteRather be poor and faithful, than rich like Biden!
DeleteSince the Catholic Church has always taught that the death penalty does not violate the Fifth Commandment, no one can be denied Communion for supporting the death penalty.
DeleteNo one can be denied Communion for being a politician. A politician must be denied Communion if he obstinately persists in manifest grave sin--e.g., public adultery, public sodomy, supporting racial discrimination, and supporting the legalization of murder.
In such cases, anyone who gives Communion to such a person commits a mortal sin.
Apples and Oranges, dear FrereRebit.
DeleteI expected 'Soapy Cupich' & our 'Nighty-night Baby' friend to object. Isn't that a catholic practice known as 'making friends with the mammon of iniquity' or something? So hard to remember all of that New Testament teaching!
ReplyDeleteKim,
ReplyDeletePerhaps YOU need to learn how to spell. Eccles and many of his commenters are in the UK, and there, the word is CORRECTLY spelled "politicisation."
Sheesh, what a bunch of 'Karens...'
Ha ha! And there I was adjusting my spelling to a UK audience, when most of the time all my spelling has to be edited for articles published on a US Catholic website. Oh, the irony! :-)
DeleteWhy worry about serving God or Mammon? Arrange a merger.
ReplyDeleteFrereRabit aka TheFlyingTigers,
ReplyDeleteI see you conveniently skipped over the solid comments made by chris griffin and Fr. VF, which countered your earlier comment…
Oh, sorry: I didn't realise you are coming to a comedy blog in search of serious answers. OK, let's try and help you:
Delete1. Do you allege JoeBiden has performed or procured an abortion? If not he has no proximity to the grave sin in Canon 915.
2. Pope F. has amended the Catechism, so Catholic politicians have more proximity to executions than Biden has to abortions.
3. Roe is part of the Constitution and all US public officials swear an oath to honour the Constitution.
4. Biden is a US public official.
5. Should JoeBiden lie when he takes the oath because of his Catholic conscience?
6. Would that not give scandal and invoke Canon 915 more directly?
Gosh! Isn't it complicated, eh? Better stick to the comedy. Over to you Eccles...
Let's hope they have the backbone to follow through on this.
ReplyDeleteIf the death penalty is the moral equivalent of abortion, of what crime is the unborn child guilty?
ReplyDeleteThe unborn child is a pure spirit pure soul guilty of nothing does it take its life are guilty of murder.
ReplyDelete