This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Tuesday 1 February 2022

Same-sex couple raises Jesuit chick

Barry and Joe, a male couple from the species Presidens Tyrannicus in Washington Zoo, are currently raising a Jesuit chick, which the keepers have called "Tommy".

Obama, Biden, Reese

The happy family.

According to current reports, the couple are doing a "great job" in raising Tommy. Since one of them is a Catholic, they have decided to raise the chick as a Catholic too, which in practice means accepting Joe's moral teaching on abortion, LGBT issues, etc. For a baby Jesuit this is not expected to be a problem.

When Tommy grows up, it is hoped to place him in a Jesuit colony, where he can meet creatures of his own kind such as Martinus Hereticus.

We attempted to interview Joe about his adopted chick, but all we got was some muttering about a "stupid son of a bitch", so we abandoned the attempt. We hope to speak later to his keeper, Jen Psakopath.

Reese tweet

To be honest, we don't understand this press release.

In other news, Doris "praying" Mantis is reported to have eaten her husband Sid after a night of passion. Catholic Bishops take note!

4 comments:

  1. 'Take note!' Hilarious, although weird, like Ms. Psakopath. The humor was diminished a bit by the demise of Sid, though.

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  2. Don't worry Bruvver, if you don't understand the press release -- we'll circle back to you.

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  3. Not Sid and Doris Bonkers, surely?!

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  4. Brilliant! Sure'n this hatchling "Tommy" is bird-of-a-feather with "Jimmy the Jebbie"! The pair of 'em are what my sainted grandmother would have called "quare ducks" (I think that is the translation of "Martinus Hereticus"? All of my Latin I learned from Wile E. Coyote and The Roadrunner...) But here in the Colonies that "Custos Presidens"* you mention is more properly known as "Psnakri"... even though she is a bit psakopath!

    *OK, so I learned some Latin from Franciscus Perongoglio too!

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