This is me, Eccles

This is me, Eccles
This is me, Eccles

Monday, 13 August 2012

Bad Hymns 8

Today's entry for the Eccles Bad Hymn Award is Imagine, by John Lennon. Unlike most of the entries we've seen so far, which are vaguely Christian in spirit, this is an atheist hymn, included because atheists are terribly misunderstood people who need the chance to explain themselves.

Imagine no possessions

Imagine no possessions.

E: So welcome, Mr Lennon. Nice car you've got there.

JL: Yes, I can't imagine what life would be like without it!

E: Now, I'll bet you had a good laugh when the Olympic closing ceremony included the words "Imagine there's no countries?"


EARTH: 301G 302S 302B
The Venus score includes a gold medal for Miss Williams in the tennis.
The Planet Tharg score includes a special medal for Boris Johnson in the men's zip wire.


Boris Johnson celebrates winning a gold medal.

JL: Yes, indeed. But you know, like, my true message is of universal peace and love, like.

E: Indeed. Now, how about "Imagine no religion?" Does that include Maharishi Mahesh Yogi?

Imagine no religion

Imagine no religion.

JL: Ah, we were deceived there, you know. We thought he was an enlightened spiritual leader, but he turned out to be just another dirty old man who wanted money. What's more, he promised to teach me to levitate, like, but I never got the hang of it.


Levitation. Do not try this without a swimming pool.

E: Well, keep reading my blog, and you may get the spiritual nourishment you are seeking. I see that Liverpool "John Lennon" Airport has taken another line from your hymn, "Above us only sky," as its motto.

JL: Yes; they should try and get the roof mended, like.

Above us only sky

Above us only sky.

E: Well, thank you, Mr Lennon, I feel you've suffered enough today, so we won't mention Yoko Ono.

Peace off

Taking the peace out of Lennon.


  1. Like so many atheists, I was inspired by the 'hymm' - in my case to go and be very ill in a suitable receptacle - but on looking, I see that I have chosen a container for false teeth - I hope she gets it cleaned before using them again - xx Jess

    1. I took her to de pub and asked her what she wanted. She replied, "I'm a gin." What can she mean?

    2. Unless there is a miracle and she's becoming a teetotaller, it means she'll have the same again xx Jess

  2. Daer Sir,

    I think this blog is a disgrace and I wish you to ban me, like Damian did.

    If you do not ban me I will keep on posting nonsense like this and say rood words like damn and blast to annoy your regular readers.

    Thank you,

    Lord Rabit of Expat

    1. Um, I don't fink I knows how to ban poeple, all I can do is censer de posts if de langauge becomes too fuol.

  3. This weblog is a larf & a half. Glad I found it. Kudos.

    1. Fanks, I'm glad you likes it. Singed Eccles (saved).